Disclaimer: The G-boys belong to Sunrise Asahi, the director belongs to Sunrise Asahi, but the dustbunnies are mine >: P Watch out...they bite.

Author's note: Yes, this is humor, which means eventually, every single main character will come under fire from the buster cannon the Sable borrowed from Rose. If you'd like any particular character especially bashed, please tell me, I'll be pleased to oblige! Enjoy now, ya' hear?

"Now, I want to make sure that you'll behavedon't touch the Gundams, don't touch the guns and especially," Here the director's voice took on a dire warning, "don't blow up any OZ bases. We want to be here to film it when you do."

Duo grinned, "Hey, no sweat, the Great Shinigami will make sure nothing happens while you're gone."

The director glared at him. "You are the one I'm worried about, Maxwell."

Duo opened his violet eyes wide, beginning on a long, drawn out denial, but Wufei merely crossed his arms, leaning against the wall as he listened to his fellow Gundam pilot, smirking slightly to himself. "The director has intuition," Wufei murmured, "Justice is served."

Heero nodded in affirmative, his face still stoic and unemotional. "Hai." He agreed stonily, then watched the crew of Sunrise Asahi drive off for their "retreat". The cameraman was still traumatized over the time Heero had accidentally crashed Wing Zero into the camera-stand; the makeup artist was still tormented by visions of a katana-wielding Wufei chasing her out of the dressing room, yelling about the injustice of having weak onnas put their stupid powders on him. The music director was aggrieved over the time Duo had substituted White Reflection with Pretty Fly for a White Guy (by Offspring) in the scene where Heero was supposed to get into Wing Custom (EW). Not only that, but the braided-baka had then proceeded to do the moonwalk literally on the stage-prop moon, causing the wires to snap and the round sphere to fall directly onto the director. That had been the last straw. In other words, the director had explained, the crewmembers, which had already been living on coffee and donuts, were having a mental breakdown. They couldn't take it and they were going on a vacation to soothe their fratzed nerves. And they didn't even want to see the tail of a braid or the end of a dual buster rifle. And that was that.

Duo waved enthusiastically at the back of the van, a trail of dust flying in the air as the vehicle drove off at ninety miles per hour. "Bye bye! Hope you have a nice trip! Bring me back some souvenirs! Au revoir! Sayaaannnooorrraaa!" He didn't seem to mind the hysterical laughter that was emitting from the rapidly departing van, nor the shrieks of "We're free! We're free!" that were floating back on the dust clouds as he turned back to the others, a devilish grin touching his lips. "Okay, who's up for a little spin in the Gundams?"

Wufei glanced at Trowa, a sardonic brow lifting over an obsidian eye. "You were right, it didn't take him more than a minute before they left." Trowa blinked once, face betraying no emotion, then he shrugged, leaning back on the wall, striking the favorite pose of the Gundam pilots as he crossed his arms.

Quatre grimaced, then smoothed his face into an anxious smile, "Really, can't we get along? Duo, you know they told us not to and-"

"Awwstop playing the goody-two shoes, Q-man! What's one little romp in the Gundams gonna do?" Duo wheedled, but Trowa, Heero, and Wufei were already walking into the rec room, ignoring the errant pilot.

"Who wants to play chess?"

"Me." Quatre said hastily, catching up with the taller trio. "By the way, I'm Arabian...chess isn't native to any Middle East so why is it we always play chess when we're bored?"

Trowa glanced down at the blonde pilot, "Because that's what they have us doing in every scene when we're not fighting. That or playing instruments."

"Oh."

***

Duo peeked into the empty room, glancing around cautiously before he slid inside the hanger bay, an evil grin lighting his face. "Hah! I knew I could pick the lockall three hundred and sixty eight of them! Nothing can stop the God of Death!" He smiled, pleased with himself as his Gundam's eyes glowed green. "Hey old buddy! Whatcha been doing?" No answer...(I mean it's a Gundam...why are the always obsessed with talking with their Gundams??) Duo frowned. "Oh yeah..." He looked around blindly in the dark, then spotted the huge power cable. Grabbing a hold of it, he proceeded to drag it, inch by inch, towards the equally large outlet, plugging the Gundam in, then sighing with relief as dull green flared lambent with "life".

"All right...let's have some fun!" Springing into the cockpit, he flipped on the power, green and red lights flashing rapidly on his control console...then everything got weird.

Instead of a hanger bay, Deathscythe was suddenly floating aimlessly in space, head over heels in a kind of continuous cartwheel. "Hey!" Duo yelled, "What gives?" Quickly, he righted his Gundam, whose legs had been sticking ignominiously in the air and looked around, the Earth about sixty miles below him. He shook his head, baffled, then gave a shrug. "The crew must have accidentally left the animation process on...Mwahahaha! This is going to be fun! A virtual video-game!"

His green scythe flared to life and he grinned in anticipation as his monitor showed thirty Mobile Units heading his way. "All right! Bring it on!" Then he frowned. There was something...strange...about those Mobile Suits...were they bouncing towards him?? Suddenly there was a small puff of smoke and as they neared...Duo looked closer...then sweatdropped.

"You have got to be kidding me." Instead of the titanium plated monsters of war he had expected, huge dustbunnies with wide chibi eyes and anxiously wrinkling noses hopped towards Deathscythe in a cloud of lint and fuzzy grime. Duo stared, slack-jawed. They looked like huge bouncing balls of fluff with little coiled tailsalmost like over-furred Pomeraniansbut he couldn't see any legs or appendages to speak of since it was all hidden by fur. That's what they were: balls of bouncing fur.

"Oh, come on...how can I fight that??" Duo yelled, banging a fist against the controls in frustration. "I can't slice cute fur-balls in half with my scythe...what kind of Shinigami kills dustbunnies??" Suddenly the scythe disappeared as if swept away by an eraser and an inexperienced hand drew the sketchy outlines of what seemed to a vacuum cleaner.

"What??" Duo blinked, then examined the "weapon" closer. "What the Hell is this??" Suddenly a huge arrow appeared on his monitor pointing to the badly drawn vac. On the other end of the arrow, printed in bold letters, was the word "Vacu-Suck". He gaped at the letters, then the vacuum cleaner in his Gundam's mechanical hand. "You are sssoooo kidding. This is so immature! This is so cartoonish! This is...so...so...so...AMERICAN!!!" *lightning, thunder, and what...not* "I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS IDIOCY!!!"

"Growl?" Suddenly, two blue-black eyes filled his screen and claws, (where had they come from??) scrabbled at his Gundaniam armor. With a girlish scream, Duo waved his scythe...er...Vacuu-Suck...frantically in the "monster's" face.

*Shriek* went Duo.

"whirrrrrrr...." Went the vacuum cleaner.

As soon as the first touch of the vacuuming air touched the dustbunny's face, it tilted its (head?) and gazed at Duo with large reproachful eyes. Little bits of it were drawn into the vacuuming chamber and then, with a sudden * POP *...it disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust.

"Wha-?" Duo stared at the vacuum cleaner then looked at the other twenty-nine bundles of fur that were hovering just beyond the range of the Vacu-Suck. They were looking at him with large liquid eyes as they congregated around the dusty remains of their comrade, weird wailing (you weren't supposed to hear anything in space!) filling his speakers with their incessant keening.

"Ow ow ow...stop it!" Duo yelled, clamping his hands over his ears. Amazinglythe noise did abruptly stop and Duo sighed, cautiously letting his hands fall to his sides. Well, it's about time, he thought acidly, his happy go lucky mood souring a little. But as he opened his mouth to say so, he found nothing emerged from his lips except for a slight hiss of air.

What? Where'd the sound go? Where'd my voice go?! Someone must be messing with the audio controls. Suddenly, it became unbearably compressed and Duo dropped his mouth in horror as he saw a huge thought bubble fill the cockpit, his every thoughts printed in bold Comic Sans MS. Oh man oh man, I've got to stop thinking or else I'm going to be flatter than one of Hilde's special pancakes!

Of course, his trying not to think was thinking in itself soDuo gagged, trying to push the fluffy bubble away from him as it ballooned to gargantuan proportions, forcing out all the air out of the Gundam. Okay, stay cool, think, no no...don't think...I mean...hey! Idea! Light flared brightly and Duo glanced upto see a lightbulb switch on. Half blinded, he reached upwards groping for the cord that hung tantalizingly just out of his reach. Goddamnit! He levered himself up and yanked on the metal cord, sighing in relief as the light dimmed to acceptable luminescence. This is a cheesy attempt at American humor affect *boom, crash, thunder and whatnot* but never mind. First things first...

He reached behind his ear, feeling for the trusty lockpick that was always secreted behind mahogany tresses and with a decisive yank, jerked it out of his hair. Hah hah hah... the Shinigami rises agai-argh...suffocation...just pop the damn thing! He jammed the sharp end of the pick into the swelling thought bubble, then clapped his hands over his ears as a huge explosion sent Deathscythe careening in a wild spin.

His last thought on the matter was This is just not my day...

***

When he finally roused himself, he was lying in a bed of soft fox pelts, the fur tickling him gently awake. "Wha-?" He muttered groggily, only to be rewarded by a girlish giggle.

"M'lord, you're finally awake. Mistress Hilde has bee waiting for you to rise."

Mistress Hilde? Duo opened his eyes to the sight of a young girl with long golden tresses spilling across her lap. She was clad in a simple, virginal white, covered completely from the frills at her neck to the long sleeves and ankle length gown. In short, chaste as the day she was born. She smiled politely when she saw him looking at her and rose to her feet. "Is there anything I can get you, m'lord?"

"Uh...not really," Duo said suspiciously, then looked around him. Outside of his translucent bubble, figures moved slowly over lush, verdant plains, smiling languidly and sometimes stopping to talk to one another. But everything had a lackadaisical air to it; no one seemed to be any hurry to go anywhere or do anything at any particular time. "Where the hell am I anyway?"

"Oh no, m'lord; you're not Hell. You're in the Aleusian Fields," the girl explained carefully. She set wine and green-gold grapes at his side before looking up with guileless amber eyes to smile serenely at him. "After all, the Mistress of Death doesn't like her Consort visiting those nastier regions of the Underworld. Last time m'lord ventured outside the Plains and saw Hell, you...well...you fainted, m'lord."

"Fainted?! ME?? Are you crazy?" Duo demanded indignantly, "I've never fainted in my life!" Then he thought a bit. "Wait a minute, Mistress of Death?? Hey, I'm the God of Death around here!"

As Duo rose to his feet, the girl grew exceedingly agitated as she blocked him from walking any further. "M'lord, you're suffering delusions of grandeur again...please stay where you are. My Mistress will be here shortly," The girl paused, tipping her head to one side before relief flooded her face. "In fact, my Mistress approaches now. So-" Unfortunately for her, Duo wasn't listening anymore.

Instead, he shoved past her almost rudely to run down the hill to meet the dark haired figure, smiling in relief. "Hey, hey babe! Glad to see some of us haven't lost our minds!"

Hilde turned, and smiled pleasantly as Duo caught up with her. "Has my Consort been good?"

Duo, being the wonderfully intelligent human being that he was, said the first thing that came to his befuddled brain. "Huh?"

Hilde's smile disappeared in a growing thunderstorm and her normally pixie-cute expression had a distinctly sinister cast to it as she narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean by 'huh'? You know better than that, pet! Has Duo been a naughty boy again and forgot all his lessons so soon?"

"Whoa whoa...pet? Me? Since when?" Duo asked warily. It occurred to him suddenly, that this was not Hilde, or at least, not the Hilde he knew...and by the way the sky was darkening and thunder had begun to rumble, he also knew that he was in big trouble.

"Duo! I'm disappointed! Now you'll have to be punished!" And suddenly, the cute beret, the sunny yellow sweatshirt and purple slacks vanished. In their stead was a skin-tight, black, leather dominatrix costume, complete with spikes, chains, nylons, and of all things, a riding whip! Duo backed away cautiously, a huge sweatdrop rolling down the back of his head.

Whoa...I didn't know Hilde was into S &M!! Damn, when you think you really know a person...Duo smiled appeasingly as he inched away from the crop wielding S&M queen, eyes darting around rapidly to see what was the nearest hiding place. There was none. So he did the next best thing, "Now babe, I know we've had our problems and I fully admit, they were all my fault..." He took the blame.

Hilde smiled and snapped her whip a few inches from his nose. "You will address me as your Lady Mistress!" Well, in the face of that demand, Duo did what any sensible Gundam pilot with keen wit and the strength of an ox would do...He screamed and started running. "Come back here, pet! Who's your momma? Huh? Who's your momma??"

***

Duo stumbled out of his Gundam, gasping and trembling from tip to nonexistent tail as he glared with a mixture of reproach and incredulity at the inanimate Gundanium mobile suit. "What the hell was that!?" He accused the blank metal face, "Crack dreams? I know I'm not stoned damnit, so what the hell was that?" As he fumed at his Gundam, he caught a glint out of the corner of his eyes and turned to get a better look. The light to the animation room was lit and at least two figures were standing there looking down on him..."WUFEI!!! HEERO!!! OMAE O KURUSO!!!!!" Yes, Duo knew that he was borrowing from Heero's famous line, but at this point in time, he was determined to exact full revenge from every single last one of the other pilots. The fact that Trowa and Quatre probably had not participated in his humiliation was a moot point really; they hadn't stopped it either.

Grinning almost savagely, Duo whispered, "So you think you can beat the God of Death, huh? Well, you'll soon see that the Shinigami has more than one parlor trick up his sleeve...."

***

"He's on to us, Wufei." Heero said monotonously, peering down at the angry robe-clad figure that was storming out of the hanger. "You can stop the animation process." The Chinese boy smiled with infinite satisfaction as he put down his ink pen, and studied the series of sketches he had done on the pad of paper. They were crude, he would be the first to admit that, but they had certainly served his purpose, hadn't they? Maxwell had gotten what he deserved.

"Justice is served." He murmured, before rolling the papers neatly under his arm. He glanced at Pilot 01 and without a word, the two Gundam pilots slipped quietly out of the room, locking and securing the keys so it seemed that nothing had been touched. Oh, revenge was sweet...all the times baka-Maxwell had messed up his scenes, "accidentally" denting Shenlong with an ill-placed prod of a scythe. Oh, Maxwell had certainly paid in full this time and Wufei was rather proud of the scene he had thought up with the dominatrix Hilde. Now, that was a masterpiece

"He's going to try getting us back," Heero commented indifferently and Wufei glanced at the Japanese pilot.

"He can't do anything worse than what he's already done." Wufei countered. Heero shrugged. They would soon find out the truth, wouldn't they?

***

Meanwhile

"Hey, Hilde-babe? I need a favor...."

TBC...

Author's note: *grins innocently as she hides her laptop behind her back* evil evil Heero, shame on youyou should know better.

Duo: SHADDAP SABLE!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

*blink* what did I do?

Duo: SHADDAP!!

Sable *huffs* Well fine, but remember, you get the next laugh in the next chapter.

Duo: *pause* well, yeah

*Sable and Duo both start laughing insanely while Wufei, Heero, Trowa, and Quatre sweatdrop*

Quatre: Should we start running?

Trowa: Yes.

*G-boy cast inches towards the door when heavy metal grates fall across the exit.* YOU are not going anywhere.

*massive sweatdrop*

Excerpt from next chapter:

"Relena, Relena, what should we do?" The Relena-Worshipers cast glazed eyes towards their leader, who was still clinging to Heero. The poor Perfect Soldier was gagging as he attempted to pry the "Princess of Peace's" loving fingers from around his throat, his eyes bulging as he experienced a sudden lack of oxygen. Also unfortunately, her body-lock was absolute and he had no space to grab his gun from his hammer space, leaving him at her not-so-tender mercies

Heero: Urk

*Sable smiles happily* : ) Review!!!!!!!