BEFORE anyone reads this fic - I know I'm going to get flamed, because NO one reads the a/n. This fic is tounge in cheek! It's meant to be funny, and not to be taken seriously! I repeat! IT'S NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!! Now, boys, if your truly moved to revenge... why don't you write a fic as a rebuttal? On how MEN rule the world??? I would love to see it. I might not AGREE with it.. but it should be fun to read!

Mars

I in now way, shape or form own Gundam Wing. I do not make any money off of my stories, and they exist just to torture unsuspecting G-boys....(at least, this one does)

Duo's Rebellion

Sometimes it is hard to understand just how crazy a woman can make you. They will lead you around by the arm, with your wallet in their hand, and make you agree, in public, with everything they say.

Yes, I know what you're about to reply, but please, think of this - every comfort we crave is in their hands. Children, sex, food, sex, clean clothing, sex.. well, you get the picture.

Now, I've tried to rebel. I've even gone so far as to tell her that she wasn't needed. My dear sweet wife handed me 3 things. A steak, a box of laundry detergent, and a jar of Vaseline. Yes, my brothers, Women control everything, and we poor men must play by their rules.

This is the story of my short lived rebellion.

"Hilde! I am not going out looking like this! I look stupid!"

She had to listen to me! Sending me out to Esme's school looking like this was too much!

"Duo, you have to! I volunteered you to play the part for Esme's class! You're the only father who could get away from work!"

"But.. Hilde! It's a giant pink Easter bunny costume! I can't even find the zipper!"

"It's in the back, Sweety. I'll help you take it off when you get home."

"HOW WILL I DRIVE?"

She looked at me, and saw my predicament. Chewing on her lip for just a moment, she thought about it. Then her eyes lit up and she smirked.

"Hop?"

Now, it didn't seem funny to me, but she fell backwards on the couch laughing. By the rate she turned blue, it was obviously hilarious to her.

Great. Hop? Was she nuts? How was I supposed to go to the bathroom?

She wouldn't listen, and she couldn't drive, ( She was 8 months along with our second child, and couldn't fit behind the wheel anymore.), So I was left with no choice. I walked it.

Three blocks in an Easter bunny costume, with oversized feet and a chicken wire head. I tried putting one foot in front of the other, but it didn't work. I tripped and landed on some old guy.

:::Thank god no one recognizes me!::: I thought.

"Hey, Mr. Maxwell! Nice Rabbit costume!"

::::Damn it! How?::::

"Uh.. Mr. Maxwell? I think Esme would realize that it's you if she saw the braid. Here, let me tuck it in for you..."

"Aren't you supposed to be in school, Nelson?" I asked our paper boy.

"Naaa.. Dentist appointment today. See Ya later!"

::::Of course, Alex from the hardware store had to hear everything! Damn.. I'm never going to live this one down!:::

I once again started down the street, and I once again tripped over my big feet. In desperation, I really did start to hop.

::::Hilde OWES me!::::

The principal of the school met me outside the building. As I approached the school, I couldn't help but notice the woman grinning.

:::Oh no! What are they doing to me?:::

"Hurry, Mr. Maxwell! The kids are behind the school waiting for you!"

:::Behind the school?:::

I followed her at the hop I was quickly, (to my shame), growing accustomed to.

::::Wait! That's not JUST Esme's class! That was the whole damn school! NO WAY, DUDE! I'm not doing it!:::

"HEY KIDS!! LOOK WHO'S HERE!" Principal Dante shouted into the megaphone. Within seconds, hundreds of kids, ranging from kindergarten to third grade, started screaming and running towards the pilot.

"OH $#%$#!" I cried, before turning around and hopping as fast as my legs could in the rabbit suit.

"MR. Easter Bunny!" the principal hissed, grabbing his tail and smirking,

"language! They are just children!"

"Lady, that is not a bunch of kids! That is a mob! Now, let go of my tail, so I can run!"

"I can't do that, Mr. Maxwell! These students, one of which is YOUR DAUGHTER, have been looking forward to this egg hunt all week. NOW START IT!"

"Egg hunt?"

"Yes! Just blow this foghorn, and they will calm down. Then, just say, are you all ready for the hunt? count to three, then let them go!"

"There won't be any kids sitting on my lap or anything?"

"Mr. Maxwell, that's Santa Clause. Wrong Holiday."

"Oh, in that case!" I took the fog horn and sounded it out. Moments later, complete silence invaded the previously noisy playground.

::::HEY!!! I have to buy me one of these!:::

"Ok, who wants to go find the Easter eggs?" I called out.

The kids started screaming again, raising thier hands in the air and screaming, "ME! me!" Esme, I noticed, had pushed the Ryan boy down when he smacked her in the face by accident.

:::Good Girl!:::

Luckily, the rabbit head covered the proud smirk my lips wore.

"Alright, then! I'm going to count to three! When I say, 'Three', I want EVERYONE to GO GET THOSE EGGS!"

"YAY!!!"

The crowd of juvenile maniacs screamed at such a high pitch, I thought my ears would burst. Just to be a pain in the butt, I sounded the foghorn again, reveling in the power to cause complete quiet!

"ONE!" I screamed, laughing maniacally

The all stood up, ready to rock.

"TWO!"

The got into the 'get set' position, about to run.

"THREE!!!" It was at that point I realized that I stood between the kids and the field. In that moment, I knew sheer utter terror as five hundred munchkins used me as thier racetrack....

"AAAGGHHHHH!!!!!!"

::::Hilde, you REALLY owe me!::::

That night, I sat, alone and broken in Gero's Bar. I couldn't believe what had happened to me!

I counted the bruises all over my body, amazed that such little people could cause such damage. It was all Hilde's fault. She volunteered me behind my back.

Now, I took some of the blame. I did go along with it. Still, she could have warned me when she told them I would dress up in the damn costume. Was it fair to wait until that morning to even tell me? No.

I finished my beer, grabbed my hat, and gave the finger to Alex from the hardware store. Stalking out of the bar, I walked next door to my own business and up the stairs to our apartment.

Hilde met me at the door, wan and worried looking. I almost felt guilty for what I was about to say. Still, I could not allow her to tell me what I was going to do anymore! I was the man! I worked hard to bring in a decent paycheck, and all I got back was this woman spending it willy-nilly, and volunteering me to be the private racetrack of L2 Elementary.

Wasn't I entitled to some respect? I had always thought so! And yet, here I stood, broken, whipped even, with bruises in the shape of little kids foots all over my arms and legs.

"Hilde, Don't EVER volunteer me for anything again"

"What?"

"Not 'What?' You say, 'No, Duo, I will never volunteer you for anything at Esme's school. I'm so sorry for taking advantage of you, and being inconsiderate of your wants and needs. It won't happen again, Baby.' That's what you should be saying."

"Duo, are you drunk?" Hilde asked me.

"No, Hilde. For once, I am perfectly sober. I have been laughed at, humiliated, and abused. I have bruises all over my body, and it's all because of you. Now, don't take this the wrong way. I love you more than life itself, but tell me, Babe, what have you done for me lately besides get me hurt?"

It was at that point she handed me the steak, the laundry detergent, and the jar of Vaseline. After I burnt the steak, and shrunk my clothes, I was not even going to attempt the third comfort. Beaten, I crawled over to my wife on my hands and knees and begged her to make it all better. She made me suffer, but she forgave me. It was at that point that I learned that I was coaching Esme's little league softball team.

Hey! I told you that my rebellion was short lived! My Hilde is my world.

Stretching forth in our imagination,
there lies a path to greatness.
Besides it lay the road of mediocrity.
Which path shall you take?
Travel with me, on the path of greatness
Stretch out your dreams
and pull them into reality.
Head not the safe road,
the one that tempts you with stabilty
What use is living without risk?