Hey, Ted! Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, everyone.. thank Ted Hsu for talking me into this fic... <G> as well as the upcoming installments of my Box AU (the last installment of the series started with Duo's Rebellion, and continued with Wufei's Survival, as well as a new trilogy.. that I won't tell you about yet... Eventually, I plan to end the box au with "Esme's on the town", but I am SOO BUSY writing so many different fics.. so.. please, have patience! (HUGS)

Ok. It's been ten years since "Wufei's Survival". The kids, (for reference) are as follows.

Esmerelda Christine Maxwell = 13 yrs old, Aaron Chang = 11, Brendan and Chryssy Yuy = 10 1/2, Katy Chang = 9, Jeremy Maxwell = 5

The Battle at the Triple Grill : a Box Universe Fic
Written by Caliko

"I don't see why we have to have that baka here! Heero is fine...Quatre and Trowa are always welcome.. but DUO? Woman.. couldn't you tell them that the kids were sick?" Wu asked, going around the yard to pick up the kids toys.

"Wu, he's one of your best friends! Admit it, you're looking forward to seeing him." Sally accused, cutting up the vegetables for him to cook later. "Besides, isn't lying dishonorable?" she added snidely enjoying his discomfort.

"Hmmph!" He pushed Aaron's bicycle into the shed, tripping over Katy's doll house on the way back. "Can't you get the kids to clean up their own messes?"

"Changing the subject won't work. Admit it.. you MISS Duo!"

::::The day I'll admit that in public is the day Duo clips his braid! ::: thought Wufei.

"I admit nothing! You are deranged, Woman, if you think that I miss that loudmouthed, sex-crazed braggart!"

"Hmm... whatever, Wu." She smiled, her attention caught by the doorbell ringing. "Why don't you answer the door. It might be the loud mouthed, sex-crazed braggart."

Chang cursed loudly, glad that she didn't notice the slight skip to his step. It had been at least two years since he had seen the braided baka.

He opened the door.. and stared. It WAS Duo.. or at least he thought it was. The other pilot stood staring back with his hat pulled tight over his ears. More than that, he was wearing a leather jacket with the collar pulled up, and it was at least ninety degrees outside! Hilde stood off to the side, a long suffering look on her face as she ushered the two kids inside.

"Come in." He said, watching Duo pull his jacket up higher. "Hilde... What's wrong with Idiot Boy?"

(Sigh) "He burned his braid off yesterday when he was grilling the burgers. He's still not over the shock."

:::Shit!::: "Missed you, Baka." he mumbled low, biting down on each word. :::Karma sucks. Big time.:::

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Ten minutes later, Trowa and Cathy walked in, with Quatre right behind. They took one look at Duo and immediately zeroed in on Wu.

"Is he alright?" Trowa asked the Chinese pilot. "He looks..."

"Pathetic." Quatre finished.

"What happened?" Cathy stared.

"He's fine!" Chang reassured them. "He's just bald, and having a hard time adjusting to it."

"My God!" Cathy shouted.. "DUO.. What happened to your hair?"

The three men winced as the haunted gaze slowly moved over to them. They cringed when tears started to fall from the violet orbs. They quickly looked away when the grown man started to bawl openly.

"It'll grow back!" Duo shouted, "Hilde promised!"

"Alrighty then... I think we should just leave him alone."

"Yeah.. good idea... definitely." They smiled weakly back at the braid-less Duo and quickly changed the subject.

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The Yuy's were the last to arrive. Heero walked behind the twins, watching their every move while Relena looked as if pacifism hadn't been invented yet. Her anger was clearly directed at the trio in front of her, but none dared to ask why.

"The little woman have you whipped, yet, Yuy?" Wufei smirked, not ready for the hand that shot out and smacked the back of his head.

"Sexist remarks aren't allowed today. Go torment Duo." Sally ordered, leading Relena off to the quiet serenity of the kitchen. "The men can handle the kids today, Relena."

"Good idea!" the former queen said, promising her three heathens retribution if they stepped out of line once.

"What's with her?" Wu asked, rubbing his head.

"She blames me for the twins' latest trouble. Hey, you have anything to drink?" Heero asked, walking over to the ice chest and pulling out a Coors.

Wu pushed Brendan and Chryssy over to where the other kids were playing, before following their father over to where he was prepping the grill.

"So, what did they do now, or do I want to know?" He asked Heero, in the mood to commiserate.

"They hacked into the school computer system, and had a profitable little business selling good grades."

"........... What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"My kids are a matched pair of criminals, okay? We were dragged into the office, the kids were expelled, and the only way I could get them back in was to volunteer to personally revamp and 'Yuy-proof' the computer security system at Saint Gabriel's. Relena said that it's because of my larcenic genes."

Both men glanced at each other, then burst into laughter. They could laugh about it, since the women were inside.

"What's up with baldy?" Heero asked, pointing to Duo.

"Shhh!! He's still sensitive about it. He was actually bawling before. It seems that he burnt his braid off yesterday while he was cooking burgers for dinner."

The former pilot of Wing Zero gave a pathetic attempt to keep a straight face, before breaking down into laughter. He was about to call out something, but then stopped. He wasn't that cruel. Instead, he grabbed an extra beer, and walked over to his best friend.

"Hey, Duo.. forget about it. At least, you have a break from washing and braiding the rat's nest." The former 02 pilot gazed sickly at Heero's mop top, before smirking momentarily.

"You have the nerve to call my hair a rat's nest?" He asked dryly, accepting the beer.

"Yeah." Yuy sat down on the bench next to Duo, nodding towards the kids. "They're getting big."

"Oh man, don't remind me. I almost had a heart attack the other day when Esme came home wearing makeup."

Heero smirked, imagining that scene. "She's not a little kid anymore, Maxwell. Hell, we were only two years older than she is when we were fighting in the war."

"Don't start! Hilde is forever telling me the same thing, but I'll be damned before she starts to wear short dresses, heels, and makeup! The next thing you know, she'll be bringing some horny teenager home to meet me!"

"The God Of Death can't quite handle his little girl growing up, hmm?" He twisted the knife a bit.

"You really wanna die, don't you, Heero?" Duo growled, draining his beer.

"Bring it on, O braid less wonder."

"Naaa.. too hot. You know, I heard Hilde and Relena talking on the phone the other day.

Something about how YOUR two devils had a profitable business going on at school." He turned the tables on his best friend, his hair momentarily forgotten.

"Urrr!" Heero groaned, smiling in spite of himself. "They would have gotten away with it if they didn't get greedy. After they changed the grades for the 'client', they blackmailed him. That's how they got caught. Sister Angelica caught the little runts shaking down Harold Randolph." They shared a laugh, drawing everyone's gaze to them. "C'mon, Maxwell. Let's go annoy Wufei about the food he's cooking."

Inside, Relena was getting sympathy from her two best friends and fellow mothers.

"I know you and Heero try hard, Relena, but sometimes it's not easy being a good parent," went Hilde. "I have THREE kids to raise. Esme, Jeremy and sometimes Duo."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Relena," added Sally. "At times, besides Aaron and Katy, I have to put up with Wufei as well. Hard as they try, our men aren't the Perfect Fathers."

"Yeah, you're both right," sighed the weary former queen. "It's just. I thought the twins would have SOME things taken from me besides half their genes. What really worries me is that Heero will show the kids' pictures in Preventer Headquarters as the number one and two top fugitives in ESUN territory! This latest stunt of theirs makes me wonder whether whatever Dr. J. programmed Heero with trickled down into the twins as well. Makes me glad I stopped with them."

"Well, did you know Heero was a wreck after your surgery?" asked Hilde. Relena nodded.

"Duo and I heard him praying in your room while you were sleeping. He gave thanks that you and the twins were safe, and he prayed that you two would be good parents."

"Well, his prayers were answered with a 'No.'" Relena shook her head.

"Didn't I say don't be too hard on yourself?" asked Sally.

> 

Meanwhile:

"Hey, Chang! Who taught you how to barbecue chicken? You forgot to parboil them! They'll be raw." Heero said, for once purposely trying to annoy the other pilot. If it kept Duo from whining about his hair, he could do it.

"You're taking lessons off of Duo, now, Baka? They are small! If I parboiled them, they would be overcooked and rubbery! Get away from my grill! You don't even know how to cook!"

The yard fell to silence as all six kids followed the sound of Wufei yelling. The women, upon hearing an argument boiling, came running outdoors, as Quatre and Trowa moved to intercept the upcoming argument. For some reason, they both glared at Duo, believing that somehow, somewhere, HE was at the heart of the fight.

"I can too cook! Better, it seems, than you!" Heero declared, smirking. "At least my chicken wouldn't put everyone in the hospital for food poisoning!"

"Is that so?"

By now, both pilots where nose to nose, belligerantly casting insults on the others 'imagined' skills.

"Yeah, it is! You're going to poison all of us!" Heero scoffed, pushing a leg around on the racks with the tongs.

Wufei grabbed the long metal spatula, and knocked Heero's tongs away from the food. Within moment's, they were fencing with their chosen weapons, while their wives looked on in shock.

"This does not look good." Duo said, trying very hard not to laugh.

Trowa smirked, noticing that the perfect soldier was a tad winded. :::Heero's out of shape?:::

"Someone has to stop them!" Quatre cried, nervous that someone was going to end up in the grill.

"Aw, C'mon, Quatre, it's not like they have swords!" Duo finally laughed, then, relented. "Hey, guys! Stop! Look, there is an easy way to solve this!"

Relena came over and grabbed Heero by the ear, as Sally did the same to Wu.

"You were saying, Duo?" The minister of peace asked.

"A cook off, this time next week. Each of you has one week to perfect your chicken recipes! We will be the judges. Loser has to baby sit the kids for the winner so that he can take his wife out on a date."

The 02 Pilot was VERY proud of his idea. It wasn't often that he had ideas that everyone liked. Usually, they said it was too elaborate or strange... or too humiliating.

"What do you say, Chang? Care to test your charcoal where your mouth is?" Heero asked, smirking.

"Why not? You are the one that will lose."

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Ok!! How is that for a beginning??? STOP YELLING! <G> I can burn Duo's hair off.. as Hilde said.. It'll grow back! BWHHAHAHAHA!!! hey, i only torture my favorites! ~Leeko