Battle at the Triple Grill, part 3 - Burn, baby burn
By Caliko

The Big Day:

Heero glanced across the yard, casually watching every move Wufei made. Every once in a while, he'd snort as the chinese pilot added a spice to his yellowish goop he called a sauce.

:::Baka doesn't know to keep it simple.::: He'd laugh, going back to baste his breasts. :::Not everyone is impressed with visual effects.:::

On his own side of the yard, Wufei was doing the same thing, also spying, also laughing. His theory being, that no one liked a bland chicken.

:::This is going to be too easy.::: He gloated, brushing another coat of honey mustard onto his legs. :::His chicken is so boring, I'm surprised that Relena isn't snoring.:::

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"Daddy?" Jeremy tugged on Duo's pant leg insistently. "What are they doing?"

The five year old pointed to his uncles, their gloating, battle-crazed eyes actually scaring the poor kid.

"Well, Jer, Uncle Wu and Uncle Heero are cooking chicken. They want to see who's the better cook." Duo shook his head, seeing his peaceful resolution turn to war.

"But Daddy! I don't LIKE chicken!" The boy cried out, horrified, gaining everyone's, (but the cooks) attention. All the kids came up to them, each babbling the same story., as the other adults pretended not to listen in.

"Uncle Duo.. If I eat anymore chicken, I'm going to start clucking!" Aaron complained.

"How do I know that they weren't related to Lady Cluckers?" Katy asked, ducking her face when her brother made a face.

"Chicken is gross." "Ditto!" The twins put their two cents in, and his own daughter simply wrinkled her nose.

"Hey, Pop.. you're not going to make us EAT that stuff, are you?" She asked, motioning with her hand at the grills.

"Look, kids, they've been working on these recipes all week. I'm sure that you can at least eat a little bit."

"Pop..."

"Esme... be nice!"

"I'm not eating it." She insisted, earning the other kids worshipping awe.

"Ok.. look. If you kids promise to eat one small piece each... I may be able to mix up some Maxwell Burgers." Never let it be said that Duo didn't know a lost cause. "BUT.. you have to at least PRETEND to eat your fathers' cooking!"

The children looked at each other, nodding. "Ok, Pop. You make the burgers inside, and they will never know that we didn't eat their chicken." Esme agreed, the rebellion leader to the bone. She led the kids away, gracious in victory.

"Duo." Sally came up behind him, so silent that he nearly jumped. "If I can get you a grill... would you make two extra burgers? Relena and I are tired of chicken, as well."

"EEP! Sally! Wear a bell or something!"

"SHHH!! I don't want Wu to hear this! Look, I MIGHT be able to borrow the neighbors grill. Is it a deal?"

The 02 pilot glanced at the cackling cooks, then shook his head. Noticing that the flames were getting dangerously high, and that they were each too busy spying on each other to watch their food, he nodded. "I'll make more than two extra burgers. From the look of it, no one's going to be eating chicken today."

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"Sally, is he going to do it?" Relena asked, her stomach starting to heave at the thought of eating another piece of chicken.

"Yeah. I just hope he doesn't get caught."

"Don't worry. Duo and I will go over to your neighbors and cook them. Mr. Harris thinks the whole thing is hilarious."

"Hmmph. He would. Ok, Hilde, go kidnap your man, and take him over there. We'll keep the boys busy."

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Heero was, predictably watching Wufei's movements while he basted his breasts with the tequila and lemon juice baste.  He was openly laughing, now, and calling out jeers to the chinese pilot. He had just finished taunting Wu's manhood when he accidentally spilled the alcoholic mix into the roaring flames.

The grill turned into an inferno, climbing up the flammable liquid until the grease on the racks also ignited. Heero jumped back, barely saving his eyebrows, grinding his teeth as he heard Wu's mocking laughter.

"Heero.. you're right. I don't know how to do THAT with chicken!" Wu chortled, bent over double with laughter. "I guess this means that I win by forfeit!"

The 01 pilot squinted behind 05, amazed that so much smoke could appear out of no where. Wide eyed, he realized that Wufei had backed into the grill... and that his shirt was about to catch fire.

Not bothering to take the time to warn him, he jumped forward, pulling Wu away from the grill and rolling him onto the ground.

Wufei, thinking that Heero was being a sore loser, started to throw punches. Heero effortlessly dodged the fists, sitting back only when he was sure that the danger was passed. Getting up, he lurched away from the infuriated pilot, and went to see if there was anything left of Wu's chicken.

Chang, seeing that Heero was going near his grill, assumed that sabotage was in the others mind. Rage turned his face purple and he got up and took a flying leap onto the others back.

He dug his hands into Heero's patented 'anime hair', yanking him backwards onto the grass.

Yowling with pain, the 01 pilot grabbed 05's hands, and twisted the fingers loose. They didn't notice the grill falling down the hill as their feet kicked out, nor the legs and feet deftly walking around them to get a hamburger from Duo's tray. They were STILL rolling around trying to kill each other while the kids were gathering sticks to toast their marshmallows for desert.

Finally, Relena and Sally came up, each carrying a bucket of icy water. Dumping them onto their heads, they jumped back and waited for them to stop choking.

Heero sat up first, rubbing his aching scalp. Giving his wife his patented look, he climbed to his feet and stalked over to the corner of the yard. Wufei followed, grumbling about 'uppity onna's' that ruined a perfectly good fight. Grabbing a couple of beers from the ice chest, he sat down next to Heero and handed the other man a can while joining 01 in a 'Yuy-glare' at the women.

"You're onna needs a lesson in manners." He said to Heero, earning a withering look for himself.

"You're woman needs to put a leash on you." Yuy retorted, purposely turning his back on his partner in crime.

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Here lies the end of the triple grill. <G> but don't worry! It's only the beginning! Stay tuned for 'Whipped!" They DO still have to figure out who has to watch the kids on vacation! <G> Care to make a small ... wager?

Leeko