Bittersweet Memories Chapter One

Hilde walked quietly through the dim streets, head tipped towards the stars as she listened to the happy Christmas goers that ran past.

"Mommy! Mommy look!" A little girl laughed with her mother as she pointed to a rolly polly Santa Claus perched on one of the buildings, his merry eyes twinkling and cherry red mouth open in a grin.

"Stop it! We are going shopping, and if you don't...!" Hilde stopped to watch as a young woman played a mock game of tag with her lover, finally grabbing him by the hand with an exasperated laugh and dragging him into the crowded shopping center, scolding him in a playful voice as they disappeared into the melee of people.

Hilde smiled sadly, continuing on her solitary way. It was Christmas, the season of love and forgivenness, but it was also the season of loneliness too, for those of them that had no one. Everywhere she looked, someone was having fun, someone had someone else to love. Even Heero had finally yielded to Relena's entreaties and had come down from the L2 colony for the celebration she was throwing.

But not her. Not this year.

***

Dodging traffic like the seasoned driver that she was, she finally came to the apartment she called "home". But was it? She flipped on the lights, blinking at the harsh glare of it before she glanced around at the pin neat room. Everything was in it's proper place, every book stacked neatly in a bookshelf, every pan, pencil, and piece of paper, everything, in it's proper place. She sighed, tossing her shopping bags on the chair before slumping into one of the sofas.

"DUO!! Clean UP this pigsty! Rel. and the rest of your friends are coming over TONIGHT!! Your socks are hanging from the CEILING FAN for God's sake!!"

"Hey, no sweat! I'll do it later!"

"DUO MAXWELL!!" He only grinned, catching her around the waist to give her a kiss on the lips before he jumped away from her swatting hands. "You could try the patience of God himself!"

"Yeah...but you love me anyway."

"Whatever Duo. Whatever."

Hilde sighed before sternly giving herself a mental slap. There was no use moping. It was over! With the determination of a general, she proceeded to put away the groceries, shoving everything into the fridge, then slamming the door with a bang that rattled the china.

The phone starting ringing with shrill insistence and she snapped it up. "Hello, Ma-Schliebeker residence!" She cursed silently for that unintentional slip of the tongue, then her face lighted up as she heard Relena's happy voice on the line.

"Hilde! How're you doing?"

Hilde could only laugh at her friend's Christmas joie de vie as she put the bread in the pantry, listening to all the background noise of people getting ready for a celebration.. "Fine, Relena! Everything's fine here! How are things going for the party?"

"Um...Heero broke the chandelier when he tried to hang the mistletoe, Quatre's making the punch, and Sally and Wufei are just having another one of their debates over women's rights! Some of their arguments are very good...maybe I could get them on the council." Suddenly her voice became thoughtful until two voices yelled in the background, one amused, one outraged.

"I'll pass up on that, Relena!"

"Onna, don't you even think about confining me with those stuff shirt weaklings! I am a-"

"-annoying chauvinistic pig!"

"Injustice!!" Hilde hid a smile as she heard the two revert back to their own altercation.

"It seems you just lost your two council members, Rel."

"I guess so..." Relena sighed. "So, when are you coming over?"

"Me? Oh, I don't know about that." Hilde glanced around at her lonely apartment. "I...I have a lot to do. Work, taxes...you know the routine."

"Really?" Relena's voice suddenly turned serious for a moment. "Hilde, really, how are you doing?"

"Me? I'm fine! Don't worry about me Rel! Your party's gonna start in...what...a few hours at best? I'm pretty sure Heero's gonna pop the big question this year too!"

Relena saw through her ploy, her voice lowering as she asked, "How is it?"

"The pregnancy?" Hilde touched her stomach protectively, an odd clenching feeling in her gut, "I went to the doctor yesterday. The baby's okay and should be arriving in a couple of months."

"Does he-"

"No, and he's not going to either!" Hilde snapped, then immediately felt guilty. "Oh, Rel, I'm sorry. It's just that..."

"It's okay. Listen, I have to go out to pick up some stuff. How about I stop by and check up on you, okay?" Relena didn't give her a chance to refuse before she added, "I'll see you then!" Then phone went dead and Hilde glared at it, torn between laughter and frustration at her high handedness.

"I guess that's what you get when you have a pacifist for a friend..." Hilde shook her head, then poured herself a mug of hot cocoa, sipping the sweet warm liquid as she went to sit down in front of the TV. "Always has to worry about something."

She flipped on the TV and a couple stared blankly out of the screen. And for Christmas, get your special someone-

Hilde quickly changed the channel and a man and woman smiled, joining hands as the skated around a frozen pond. The man withdrew a small box from his coat and-

"Damn!" Hilde switched the television back off and threw the remote control into the corner where it landed in the leaves of a potted plant. "God, I don't need him and that is that!!"

***

Duo tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for Heero to pick him up. It had been a long haul from the L4 colony as holiday goers crowded the transport terminals in an effort to visit relatives and friends on different colonies. Heck, some of them were even headed for...

Earth...

Duo sighed, leaning back against the wall as he thought of a certain dark-haired girl, her pert purple beret clashing with her yellow sweatshirt. Man Hilde, I wonder what you're doing now...you didn't even tell me why you left...

"Duo, I'm leaving." Duo grinned, thinking it was a joke, but Hilde wasn't smiling as she fiddled nervously with her purse, then raised her head defiantly.

The grin faded from Duo's face as he stood up, walking towards her. "Whatcha talking about, Hilde? I thought you liked it here..."

"I do...I did. But-but Duo, I have to have something solid. It-it's not you, it's me..."

"Hey, don't use that classic line on me." There was the beginnings of anger in Duo's normally cheerful violet eyes as he stood in front of her, braid tossed carefully across his shoulder. He crossed his arms, staring down at her. "If there's something wrong, just say so."

"That's just it! You don't know what's wrong!" Hilde shook her head, then backed away. "You just never got it, Duo. I mean, all these years and you just never grew up! You just never got it!" She turned and ran out, slamming the elevator door close in his face. She didn't take anything else but the clothes on her back, but she did leave and he still didn't know why...

He jerked himself back to reality as he felt a pair of Prussian blue eyes rest broodingly on him. Summoning a cocky grin, Duo casually unfolded himself from the wall as he sauntered towards his friend. "Hey, Hee-man. Wussup? Long time no see, did you miss me?"

Typically, Heero just raised an eyebrow before leading the way through the traffic, occasionally dodging an over-enthusiastic automobilist as they crossed the street. "Luggage?" Heero asked in his monotone voice.

"Just me and my braid." Duo quipped, but the real humor was missing from his eyes as he settled into the back seat. "Nothing compared to a Gundam, but a nice set of wheels, Heero."

"Hn." Heero started the ignition, backing the car out of the parking lot before turning it towards the Peacecraft mansion, his face still completely blank.

"So, where's ojou-san?" Duo asked, draping himself across the back seat. Idly, he picked at the lint that was gathering on the fuzzy seat covering, not really paying attention to the conversation.

Heero glanced back in the rear view mirror, eyes narrowed as he tried to gauge Duo's reaction. "She went to visit Hilde."

"Wha-?! Hilde's on Earth?" Duo bolted upright, nearly throttling the more taciturn pilot. Heero merely glared at his friend before merging into the right lane. "Where's she?"

"Duo..."

"I mean it Heero. I gotta see her!" Suddenly Heero flashed on the emergency lights, bringing the vehicle to a stop on the right hand shoulder of the curb. The other drivers yelled furiously as they careened past, but Heero typically ignored them as he parked the car and leaned back in his seat.

He turned serious blue eyes to Duo's before saying quietly, "Duo, she doesn't want to see you." Duo winced, hurt sparkling in his deep violet eyes, but there was an almost childlike confusion there as well. He leaned forward urgently, bringing his own face to eye level with Heero's. There was an uncharacteristic seriousness in his features as well as lines of strain that had not been there before.

"But-"

"It's her first year away-"

"Yeah, well I didn't ask her to leave!" Duo hissed, stress breaking through his light-hearted façade. "She didn't say anything before she left except that I never grew up! Now what's that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to tell me something? Come on, Heero. I just need to talk to her, one time. See? One time and we'll take it from there, okay?" Heero looked indifferently back, but there was an unusual amount of hesitance in his eyes as he slowly shook his head. Duo slumped back in his seat, brushing back the bangs from his forehead. "God, man...I just need to talk to her. You know I'd do the same for you if it were ojou-san..."

"Not tonight, Duo." Heero said quietly, starting up the engine.

A bitter line twisted Duo's mouth as he stared at the back of Heero's head, "Yeah, well the next time you make a mistake, maybe I won't be there to kick you back on your feet either, pal."

"I wouldn't have made that mistake." Was the quiet answer.

Duo laughed bitterly. "Yeah? How the hell would I know when I don't even know what I did wrong?"

"That's the problem, Duo. You have to figure it out."

Author's note: Yeah, well...that was depressing....grrrr....this is actually a serious Duo and Hilde fic written by me...I think I'm scared. Duo and Hilde aren't MEANT to be serious!!! Wahhh!!!! What am I doing?? They're supposed to be the couple that never has a problem!!! *sigh* okay, where's the semi-angst demon around here? Rose! If ur reading this (I know, only depressing, not angst, thank God) I need your buster rifle, again. And a triple serving of ANGST B GONE, just in case. Great...I need to get some stronger sap too *pulls out shopping list and starts scribbling*....

Anyway, I dunno if I'm gonna write more on this fic. It's making me depressed, and I don't like it! :P It all has to do with time, homework, and the pursuit of my happiness. J We'll see. If inspiration slaps me on the head, who am I to shoot it down? I hope you enjoy reading it!! review if u do, review if u don't and if u don't care either way....review anyway. If u have any suggestions, please write em, or email me at flamesofdarkness@hotmail.com. To those of u that have read my junk before, u know that flames are always...well...not encouraged, per say, but accepted. L I can't promise that I won't respond in my own...ah...forthright manner though! r&r!!!