Operation Parenthood: Phase Heero
by Caliko

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing.

Relena stumbled into Heero's apartment, glad that the man had given her a key. She giggled, thinking that he never intended her to use if for this!

:::Oh boy! Everything is slightly fuzzy.... Darn Hilde and her mai tai's!::::

(For courage, the other woman had teased, handing her drink after drink.)

She sunk down onto the couch, just for a moment to get her bearings. That was when she heard it! The shower was running!

:::YES! He's already naked!:::

She attempted twice to get up, but finally settled for rolling off onto her knees.

:::Less distance to fall...::: she thought, philosophically, :::Not to mention, it would be harder to see her....::::

She crawled around the couch, and through the bathroom door. Looking up, she gazed in lust at Heero's tightly muscled body as he stood washing his hair.

:::Hmmm...he looks so strange with his hair lying against his head. Oh, well, he's still a hottie!:::
Before she could change her mind, (and Heero turn off the water and hear her...), she stripped and crawled under the hot spray.

Heero, rinsing the soap from his hair, and singing lightly under his breath, didn't sense Relena's presence until her slippery, soapy hands started to knead his back.

Suddenly he stopped singing. He stopped moving. Hell, Pretty Boy stopped BREATHING! His training had completely failed him.

In shock, he screamed, and jumped at the same time. His foot came down on the soap and he slipped, landing in the corner facing a slightly tipsy Relena.

"OH HEEEEROOOOO!" she sang, making his ears wince.

"Uh.... Relena! What are you doing here?" He yelled, trying to cover up his shock.

She simply smiled, and sank down to her knees to be on his level.

"Heero...do you love me?" she asked, her blue eyes twinkling.

"Um...yeah.."

"GOOD! Show me!"

"WHAT? No!"

"But.. you said you loved me! If you truly loved me, you would have sex with me!"

Relena smiled at her logical thinking. Maybe she wasn't as drunk as she had first thought.

"I will NOT make love to you! I'm err.. not in the mood!" he stammered, embarrassed.

She looked down into his lap, smirking. Her presence was having a very real effect on his brain. Following her gaze, he blushed, stuttered something, and pushed her away. Standing up, he shut off the water and almost ran out into the living room.

Relena's eyes got wide, and she smiled devilishly. At least, now she knew that it wasn't her that made him hesitate.

"Heero, There's nothing wrong with being a virgin!" She got up from the ground, bracing herself up against the wall for balance. Once the world didn't dance in front of her eyes, she smiled and followed him out of the bathroom.. Smiling wider, Relena handed him a towel and giggled as he glared at her before grabbing it.

:::Sigh::: she thought, watching him wrap it around his hips, :::He looked much better without it...:::

"Relena, go home." Heero growled.

"No. Heero, I came here tonight for a reason, and I am not backing down!"

She walked over and put her arms around his neck. Pulling his head down, she kissed him. He held his mouth closed tight, refusing to let her take the kiss deeper.

Relena stood back, surveying the determined male in front of her.

:::I can do this!::: she vowed silently, :::If I can be the bloody queen of the world, I can damn well seduce my man!:::

Once more, she sidled close, ignoring his narrowed glare. Smirking, she put her hands around his waist, laughing at the brute look he was projecting. His arms were crossed, and he was doing his best to be a tough guy.

:::We'll see how tough you really are, Heero!::: she thought, just before she grabbed the end of the towel in her hands.

"Don't even think about it..." He ordered.

"Think about what? This?" She pulled the towel from his waist, backing up quickly to avoid his seeking hands.

"Damn it, Relena! Give that back!"

"Come and get it, Pretty boy!" She taunted, rolling the towel up tight to use as a whip.

"You wouldn't dare!" he said threateningly.

She didn't answer, at least not verbally. With a quick flick of her wrist and a saucy smile, she sent the edge of the towel into his buttocks, laughing as he growled. Without any warning, he tried to tackle her, but Relena was a lot faster than she looked.

Relena laughed, lighthearted as he got up and started to run after her. Turning, she ran into the next room, almost ready for the flying tackle that took them onto the bed.

:::Idiot! Hilde is soooo right! Men ARE easy to manipulate!::: (a/n - I REALLY don't believe this, men...It's just...girl talk)

She pulled the towel under her chest so that he would have to roll her over to get to it. As planned, he rolled, and she buried it in the small of her back. Moving her arms to her back caused her breasts to push up into his face, and Heero froze.

"Are you alright, Love?" she smiled, breathless from the brief tussle.

"Witch!" He hissed, just before his mouth closed over the tight nipple in front of his eyes.

"Hmmm.....It get's me what I want...." She sighed.

"Not... quite." he smirked. "I didn't plan on this, and I know you can't be caught buying them. Neither of us have any sort of birth control."

"In my bag." she laughed at his shock. "Hilde bought them for me."

"Bloody hell..." he cursed, just before nuzzling her shoulders.....

Sally's Place, that night

"How did this happen?" Wufei asked, eyes blazing. "We took care! I took care, woman!"

"Wufei, don't be an idiot. Condoms are only about 90% affective! Have you ever heard of a hole?" She asked, bluntly putting the lid on Wufei's temper tantrum.

"Oh. I didn't think about that." he confessed, sheepish.

"Hmmm...." she rolled over onto her other side, completely ignoring his presence.

"Dammit, Onna! I don't want kids!" he whined..

"I am still waiting for my toast and tea, Chang."

Heero's, the next morning

Heero Yuy woke up with a wide grin on his face, happy that all was right with the world. The sun was shining, the birds where singing, and his love was cuddled at his side. What could go wrong, on such a good day?