Operation Parenthood: Phase Labor, A
by Caliko

Disclaimer: Don't own GW

3 months after Relena seduced Heero

Heero Yuy walked into his fiance's office with his normal expressionless face. The minute the door was closed, however, he was a changed man. He walked over to the desk, where he could barely see the tips of Relena's shoes. He smirked, listening to her muffled curses as she rooted around for her seal.

Today, the blond wore that pink suit, with the short skirt. As she knelt on the floor, the skirt rode up to just below her cheeks. White lace panties peeped through as her plump rump wiggled out from under the desk.

He couldn't help himself, as his hand came down onto her rear... and he goosed her.

"AAACK! Who the ... OH! Heero! DON'T DO THAT!" she fumed, seriously wanting to clobber him.

"Do what?" Innocence was a wonderful ploy, even when it won't work.

"You know what, Yuy! Look, I have important meetings all day today, and I can't go into them mussed up! I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait until we get home."

::::: My, aren't we a tad uptight...:::: he thought, watching her cross her sit down and cross her legs.

::::Hmm...wonder if I can 'loosen' her up?:::

Relena noticed him coming closer, knowing what was on his mind. She allowed it to happen once, and it was enough. Her secretary still didn't believe that she screamed because of a mouse!

"Don't even think about it, Heero!" she pulled her chair in tight, not giving him the room to climb under the desk with her. "I'm serious! I have a lot of work!"

He sighed, realizing that there would be no 'afternoon delight' today.

"You want me to bring you any lunch?" He asked, knowing that she sometimes forgot to eat.

"WOULD YOU?" her face brightened up, glowing really. Within seconds, she was handing him a list and shoving him out the door.

He opened the paper, blanching at the amount of food she was asking for.

::::NO way can such a tiny woman eat this much!:::: He thought. His eyes scanned further down the list, getting green about the gills. ::::Honey and garlic potato chips? Do they even MAKE them? Oh gross! Peanut butter and mint cookies? No way....:::::

Still reading, (and cringing), he walked over to the elevator and pressed the down button.

::::Chocolate fudge ice cream? No wonder she's put on a few pounds...Oh well, she looks cute with it...::::

He finally found all of the ingredients at a super Wally World. He was checking his list, making sure that he had everything in the cart, when another cart plowed into his.

.He looked up, smirking at the sight. Wufei had crashed into him, wearing red sweatpants and a white t-shirt. The t-shirt was at least 2 sizes too big, and had #1 Papa written across the stomach in huge letters. His high tops were scuffed and untied, and his socks were ..not there Chang's eyes were red rimmed and splotchy, and his hair was half in, half out of it' s normal club. He glanced at Heero, embarrassment turning his cheeks red.

"Don't say it, Yuy. Don't say it."

Heero simply gazed at the other pilot blankly. He kinda felt sorry for the other man. It was a well known joke at Preventers that Sally was driving him up the wall. He wasn't going to be the one to make him feel worse. Slowly, he backed up, trying to get out of this situation.

"Wouldn't think about saying anything, Chang. Oh, look! Another lane opened. See you at work!"
Smiling, because he got out of that situation, he moved to the other lane. To his dismay, Wufei followed.

::::Damn...I hope I don't have to TALK. I never told him to get Sally pregnant!::::

Wufei started to help Heero unload his carriage, making strange strangled noises at each of the more exotic packages.

"Um.. Yuy... How can you eat this stuff?" he asked, holding up the box of peanut butter/mint cookies.

Heero grimaced, before admitting that they weren't his.

"Relena's?"

"Yeah.. I have no idea how she can eat them, either! Almost everything in this basket is hers."

"This is even stranger!" Out came the bag of Honey and Garlic chips. "If I didn't know better, I would think she was pregnant! But, of course, you haven't gone that far with her, yet."
He was oblivious to the kick in the gut that the other pilot was experiencing. Relena pregnant? Naaa! She would tell him! Wouldn't she? She had been gaining weight recently, and she was an emotional roller coaster, but she wasn't sick like Sally and Hilde had been.

::::Could she?::::

He paid for the rest of his purchases and carried them silently to the car. He had some questions that needed answering.

:::::Relena pregnant?::::

He drove back to Relena's office, with those two words echoing through his head. On one hand, they made him want to run. On the other... It hasn't seemed to hurt Maxwell any. If anything, Duo had seemed to thrive on father hood.

:::::Why am I doing this? I don't even know if she's pregnant!::::

Yeah, but what if she was?

::::::A little Relena to lock in a convent until she was thirty...:::::

. He smiled, imagining a little runt following him around. Or maybe, a boy that could grow up to be a Preventer like dad and Uncle Wufei!

::::Idiot! Stop acting like it's fact! Talk to Relena, first!::::

He pulled into the parking lot, downshifting in order to slow his speed enough to make the turn. Forgetting the bags of food, he ran inside and up the four flights of stairs to Relena's office.
She was just showing the L3 representative out when he got there. Nodding politely, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the office with him. At the Rep's flabbergasted look, he smiled, shrugged, and shut the door in his face.

Turning, he stalked Relena into the corner. Putting a palm on the wall on either side of her head, he leaned in close, and asked her outright.

"Are you pregnant?"

Relena's eyes widened. She had never been all that regular, and had only just now started to suspect something. How did he know?

"I'm not sure, Heero, but I do have a doctors appointment this afternoon."

He nodded sharply, grabbed her pocketbook from the nearby chair, and ushered her out the door.

"Let's go."

"But, Heero! I have a meeting with Dorothy in an hour!"

"Cancel. We're going to see if the doctor can fit you in earlier."

"HEERO!"

"Do I have to carry you out? Imagine what the scandal rags would say then!"

That made her shut up, and he managed to get her buckled into the car with no more fuss.
(what the doctor said?? DO you really need me to tell you??? OI! )

3 months later

Wufei stumbled into the emergency room screaming the Woman's name. He had planned on getting here too late for the birth, but he just couldn't do it. Not only would it be dishonorable, but Sally needed him. Damn... why did he have to be so.. so.. HONERABLE!

"HEY, Wu-man! Over here, buddy!" Duo was standing next to a set of double doors, waving him over. In one arm, he held a squirming mini Maxwell, in the other hand held the phone. Esme took one look at 'unka Woofy ' and screeched as she reached for him.

"I was just calling Quatre. Heero and Relena should be here soon." He yanked Esme back up into his arms by her dress, causing Wufei to wince and grab her.

"Maxwell, you still don't know how to hold a kid. It's really sad when she prefers ME to her own father!"

"Aww, stuff it, Wufei! She only wants the candy you usually give her."

It was really starting to irk the braided pilot. His daughter never wanted to have anything to do with him when Chang was around.

Wufei, knowing this, capitalized on it. Rubbing in Esme's preferences was the only real payback he had on the idiot for years of annoyances. Still, he had to get to Sally.

Handing the little girl the safety pop he bought for her, he handed her back to Duo.

"Where is Sally?" He asked.

"Down that - a - way." Duo pointed out the corridor, adding, "Can you send Hilde back for Esme?" before he turned back to make more calls.

By the time he made it to the waiting room, Heero and Relena where already there. Locating Hilde, he passed on the message and immediately turned to go into the labor room. The nurse on duty stopped him, insisting on Wufei changing into scrubs and masks.

:::Great. First, I'm stuck wearing that blasted t-shirt, now I'm wearing a green potato sack. If it wasn't my child, I'd leave!:::

He changed and entered the labor room and nearly left again. He did NOT remember Hilde being that.... pissed.

"Chang Wufei! YOU are a dead man!" she screamed, as she finished pushing.

"OH boy..."

"Don't worry, Mr. Chang. They all say this sort of thing. Once post-partum kicks in, she won't want you out of her sight. It's just the pain talking." The nurse reassured Wufei, and pushed him to the bed. "Now, sit behind her, and give her your support. She's going to need you!"
He swore, when she looked at him, that an evil green glow came out of her eyes, and her neck did a 360 degree turn. Jumping back, Wufei blinked, and everything was back to normal.

"GET BACK HERE, 'MASTER'!" she sarcastically shouted, causing the doctor to cough and the nurses to blush.

::::Why me?::::

Helplessly, praying that she would NOT make that reference again, he took his position behind his fiance' like the whipped dog he was.

No one was more relieved than he when the doctor made that final call - "ONE MORE PUSH!"

:::Oh, bliss! We're almost done!:::

"It's a boy!"

::::YES! I am THE man!::::

"AWWW!! Look! Mama's worn out! Well, just wheel her into recovery and let her sleep. She deserves it!"

::::PEACE...at last!::::

The weary pilot rubbed his eyes as he shuffled his way out to the waiting room. It was NOT as bad as he had feared, but it was still .. uncomfortable.

Reaching the room where everyone waited, he smiled tiredly and said, 'It's a boy..." before falling into a dead faint. Thankfully, Maxwell caught him.