I don't own it!

Quiet Desperation: Chapter 3
By Caliko

Duo:

I waited outside for a while, just to make sure that the lights weren't going to come back on. When I was satisfied, I grabbed my lock picks and silently climbed the steps to her apartment. Minutes later, I was inside.

Her sister lay on the couch where she was watching TV. Her mouth hung open, and drool was pooling under her chin on the pillow. I bit my tounge to keep from laughing, knowing that it wasn't a good way to endear myself to the woman.

I tiptoed to the back bedrooms, coming across the girls room. There were ballerina prints on the wall, and two nameplates on the door. One said 'Rebecca Maxwell', and the other said 'Mercedes Maxwell'. I was gratified that she gave them my name, at least.

I walked a few paces inside, trying not to wake them up. Seeing that their sheet slid down a little bit, I carefully lifted it back in place. I couldn't stop from brushing a strand of chestnut hair off of a freckled forehead before I left to find their mother.

The next room was empty, so I assumed that it belonged to sleeping beauty and went to the last door.

:::Bingo.:::

I straddled her waist, held my hand over her mouth, and waited. Almost immediately, Hilde opened her eyes, saw who it was, and bit my hand.. hard.

I cursed as I pulled my hand out of her mouth, feeling the first few layers of skin stay behind. Hilde pushed me back, uncaring, as I lost my balance and fell to the floor. Smirking, she stood up on the mattress, and looked down at my huddled form.

"You were supposed to call, Duo."

Hilde crossed her arms across her chest, bunching the white t-shirt under her breasts. Glaring, she leaned against the wall, and waited for me to make the first move.

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Hilde:

:::Oh God, he looks good.::: I thought, pulling myself together. He still radiated danger, and I found myself being drawn to him. Defensively, I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the wall, forming a mental barrier between me, and the walking wet dream.

After all these years, he still got me going. :::I have to watch that.::: I reminded myself, knowing that he would have to do a lot of begging before I let him back into my bed.

I kinda figured out long ago that it was his fear talking that night.. but I still didn't like him telling me that it shouldn't have happened.

Well.. that, and by the time I did cool down enough to put the pieces together, Becca and Mercy were three years old.

"I was in the neighborhood. I figured we could talk face to face. Sorta make sure you didn't run away again." He really does like to twist the knife, doesn't he?

"Don't you have a nurse to chase? The last time I saw you, you were gray and breathing through an oxygen mask."

He ignored my question, as I knew he would. He would not go so far as to actually confirm his illness.

"Y'know, this place isn't very safe. I picked the lock in under a minute."

Duo started wandering through my room, picking through some of my things. He looked at the pictures that were taped to my mirror, lingering over one of us taken right after the war. His look spoke volumes as he tapped the snapshot and looked at me.

"The girls wanted to know what you look like.: I admitted, watching as he picked up another picture taken at Christmas.

That one was of the three of us, Becca, Mercy, and me. Sid had taken it, making faces at us from behind the camera. We were all in stitches, holding on to each other as we laughed. Duo smiled, then pocketed that one, not bothering to ask.

I let it pass, knowing that he deserved a lot more than just a snap shot. It wasn't until he picked up my bra and dangled it in front of his face with his pinky that I got violent.

Blushing, I grabbed the black silk with one hand, and smacked him with the other. The beast just laughed, of course, before grabbing his heart and playing dead. He swayed, moaning, then fell down on the bed face first.

I almost laughed. I KNEW that he was trying to soften me up, catch me unawares. That stopped the giggles, and reminded me that I had more at risk than my heart, here.

"Duo, what do you want?" I asked him outright, steering him right into the meat of our problem.

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Duo:

::::I was soooo close!::: I winced, knowing that I heard her giggle.

I rolled over onto my back and stared up at her. She was wearing a pair of oversized boxer shorts, and hadn't realized that I could see right up the leg.

:::Well, I'm not going to tell her.::: I laughed silently, enjoying the view.

"What do I want..." I drawled, sneakily trying to get in position to see more. "Let's see..."

Hilde must have noticed something, because she jumped off the bed and stalked over to the other side of the room.

"Talk faster, Duo. I have work in the morning."

"Ok, ok... let me think here. First.. I want my daughters. I want them to know who I am, and where I am. I want them to be able to talk to me, spend time with me when ever they want to."

"That's reasonable." She nodded.

"I also want to know why you left like that, without giving me a chance to explain. Hilde, I didn't mean it the way it came out that night."

"You told me I was a mistake!"

I winced at the volume, knowing that if she didn't quiet down, then the girls and her sister would be barging in here.

"No, Babe. I did not call you a mistake. I said, 'I think we MADE a mistake.' It's not the same thing."

"You hurt me, Maxwell. What was I supposed to think? I had loved you from the moment I first saw you, but you were oblivious! I stayed with you, helped you build a business, basically was a wife to you in everyway BUT sex, and you NEVER noticed! Then, one day, you suddenly wake up..."

She had marched back up to the bed with every word. Now, she was poking my chest, accenting each word with a jab. "And we make love.. and THEN.. you say it was a mistake? FUCK YOU!"

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Hilde:

:::Hmm.. I guess I kinda lost my temper. I didn't mean to admit that much.:::

His face was shocked, reminding me that he really was a hopeless idiot. Wufei often noted that the only reason he lived through the war was because he was too stupid to die.

Ok.. I know, that's not fair. I knew better than anyone just how smart Duo Maxwell was, and it was enough to scare you when you actually looked at him. His main problem, was that he was normally oblivious to everything but his own sexy self.

Don't get me wrong. He's not conceited. If anything, he often made fun of the fact that women seemed to lap at his feet. It was a large source of amusement for him that they always wanted to brush his hair, or just stare at his eyes. More than once, I had to play the possessive girlfriend just to get him out of a bad date!

:::But, back to the topic at hand. Did I just tell Duo that I loved him? Oh geez. He's never going to let me live it down.:::

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Duo:

:::She loves me? YES!:::

I didn't stop to think. I just grabbed her arm and pulled her down on the bed with me. Quickly, before she could get back up, I rolled her over onto her back and caged her in my arms.

"What did you just say?" I asked, intent on getting her to say them again.

She clammed up, blushed, and turned her gaze away. Determined, I gently cupped her chin so that I could pull her eyes back to mine.

By now, I knew what I would see. Hilde still loved me. Oh, she wouldn't admit it yet, but she did.

"Duo, Get off." She said, almost begging me to put some distance between us. "I don't want you so close."

"Why not, Hilde? Don't you like it?"

:::Ok, so I'm toying with her a little bit. It's not like I'm going to jump her or anything!:::

She finally met my gaze on her own, and stopped hiding her feelings. I could see the hunger staring back at me in her eyes, and I caught my breath.

"It doesn't matter, what I like. I want to kiss you right now, to feel you against me, your arms wrapped around my back... but, Duo, I can't live just for myself. I can't just forget the past, and trust you not to freak out again."

I opened my mouth to argue with that, but she brought her hand up against my lip, signaling me to be quiet.

"I know why you said that it was a mistake. It took me four years to calm down enough to think about it rationally, but I did. Don't you think that I might have been scared, too? Idiot man." She shook her head, looking on me with fond disgust. "I just can't risk that, Duo Maxwell. I'm not going to get the girls hopes up, just so you can run away the moment it get's tough."

:::RUN AWAY?::: "Hilde, you were the one that left!"

"Only after you tried to brush the entire incident under the rug. I just couldn't go back to the way things were, not after we made love." She pushed me off of her, and I let her get up.

"I was not going to forget what it was like to have you hold me like that, to be the most important woman in your life. I'm sorry, but under those circumstances, I decided it would be better for me to leave."

"Better for who? You? Certainly not for me, not for the girls! I spent the last six years looking for you. Everywhere I went, I looked. I didn't eat, didn't sleep. I was delusional for a while, convinced that you were coming right back. Hell, your room on L2 is exactly as you left it. I shot Heero in the arm when he tried to throw you things out.

And, what about the girls? Do they even know what a father is, or do they think that Daddy's only make them, not hang around to raise them?"

"So what do you want to do? Pretend that neither of us messed up?"

"I want to start over, Babe. Slowly, this time. Let me seduce you the old fashioned way..." I smiled at the look she threw me, then finished the sentence. "You know. One date at a time?" I ducked as she swung at me, sensing rather than seeing that this rough patch was over.

She closed her eyes, and sat on the edge of the bed. She glanced sideways at me, then warily nodded. "Ok. One date at a time."

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Hilde:

I should have known that he would pull the cute routine. Duo lived and breathed charm, and that cute little boy act got me all the time.

I sighed, then got an evil idea into my head. Looking innocent, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes, and carefully agreed.

"As a matter of fact, you can start this morning." I said, forcing down the insane urge to cackle. "I have to work today, to make up for the hours I missed yesterday. You can take Becca and Mercy to the zoo."

"Alone?" :::Oh, that terror filled look is worth it...:::

"Duo, you have to get to know them somehow. This way, you won't have me interfering, right? You can do it, Dad."

:::Oh, this was too cruel. Baptism by fire, I've heard it called.:::

"As a matter of fact, you just stay here and go to sleep. I'll sleep in the girls room. I mean, why should you just go home, when you'll have to come back so early?"

"Hilde? Why do I feel like you're setting me up?" He looked as if he really wanted to bolt.

I smirked, grabbed a spare pillow and blanket, then walked to the door. Turning around, I looked back at him, knowing that I would probably kill for a camera right then.

"Because I am, Duo. I am. those innocent angels only LOOK that way." I laughed out loud, enjoying his discomfort. "But, at least, you and the girls will spend time together."

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A/N: <G> If you haven't figured it out, Hilde is going to see just how much pressure Duo-chan can take! :) Oh yeah, he's gotta prove himself before she takes a risk on him again!

Will Papa Maxwell survive a day at the zoo with two little imps of Satan??? Will he get the last laugh??? And.. how will Duo get Hilde to spend some quality time alone with the god of death???

I'm taking suggestions, here! <G>

Leeko