Revenge Is Best Served Cold: 3
or The Revenge of Duo and Hilde

by Caliko

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own them, either...

L2 Colony, equivalent of 10:00pm...

(Do you know where your Lions Are????)

Trowa happened to be passing by when he noticed something, or rather, someone. Looking out of the upstairs window of 'Maxwell's Salvage', was Rasheed.

:::::Now, what would he be doing in Duo's apartment?::::: he thought.

Looking closer, he spotted the security camera's. They were following his every move.

Suspicious, he walked up to the door and pounded on it.

Just as he thought. No answer. If the maganac was here on legitimate business, the door would have been opened. Hell, the braided pilot would have thrown himself at him with his normal puppy dog exuberance!

Could the idiot have been behind the disappearance of his cats? Naaa.....he wasn't that smart. But.... Quatre was, and here was the leader of the maganac forces watching his every movement. This was a rather odd development. Quatre had a cruel streak after all.

He smiled, almost like a proud teacher would at his student. Then, he realized that the Arabian used his evil against him, his best friend. Oh, he had to pay! But first, the pilot had to find his babies.

Banging louder on the door, he called out Rasheed's name.

"I know your in there, Rasheed! I want my cat's back!"

Hesitantly, the door creaked open and Trowa was led inside.

"Mr. Barton, how nice to see you!" It was one of the lesser bodyguards.

"Where are my lions?" he demanded, ignoring the polite niceties.

"Oh, they're fine. They're playing downstairs right now."

"Playing?" Trowa asked, as the taller man led the way.

"Hmm...yes. It seems that young Mr. Maxwell had a security breech. Your ..ur.. babies found the offenders before we did."

They had reached the bottom of the stairs, just in time to see one of the would be thieves slip. The male lion noticed and swiped at the dangling leg, barely missing before it was pulled back up onto the rafters.

"CALL them off! Please!" they cried to the unheeding mercenaries, as Trowa leaned back against the wall and stared.

"Remind me to bill Duo for security work." he smirked, before leaving to call the police.

The next night, in Relena's room:

Heero stared at the woman asleep in his arms, wondering how he could have been so mistaken. Relena was not a prissy princess. Oh no! He smiled, satisfied. She was more like a cat.
Sensual and demanding, she excited him and teased him into doing things he never would have thought about. Expertly, he twisted his wrists and slipped out of the cuffs.

:::::Hmmph! Who would have thought?:::::

Just then, his phone beeped. Slipping out of bed, he was surprised to see both Wufei and Trowa on the view screen. Tiredly rubbing his eyes, he didn't bother to say hello.

"Do either of you know what time it is?" he asked.

"Yeah, we know it's late. Heero, has anything... unusual happened to you within the last few days?" Trowa asked, as Wufei was still cursing Duo in Chinese.

Suddenly wide awake, the perfect soldier looked at his henchmen's faces and knew that they were pranked as well.

"What did he do this time?"

"Besides placing an advertisement for a sex slave?" The normally reticent pilot was desperately trying not to laugh. If Duo had the lines bugged, then this would only encourage him.
Heero, relaxed state of mind that he was in, wasn't nearly so in control as normal. Thinking about what Relena had done just that night, he cracked an honest smile.

"Who was his victim? Quatre?"

"Oh no. Not Quatre, Heero. Wufei. As a matter of fact, Quatre is in on it."

"Repeat that."

"Sweet, too nice Quatre was in on it with Duo AND Hilde. From what I could get out of Rasheed, our little empath was upset that we didn't include him in the crate caper."

"Rasheed knows that we're on to them?" He was already in perfect soldier mode, looking for any possible way to save the mission.

"Yes... but, they're not going anywhere for the next twelve hours or so." Wufei had stopped cursing, and was smugly patting himself on the back. "I am having them detained, with no phone calls, by the Preventer force on L2."

"Then, let's go. I'll meet you on L4 in, say, 3 hours. Mission accepted."

L4 Colony Spaceport

The three men gathered around the small table as the waitress set down thier coffee and sandwiches. Waiting for the woman to leave, (she might have been a relative of Quatre's), they each bit into thier food and spoke small talk.

Finally, they were alone.

"Did anyone see you come in?" Heero asked, knowing that Trowa had brought his cats.

"No. The circus is due here tomorrow. I simply said that I was meeting them here. No one looked further than that.

"Good. Here's the plan. Wufei, you show up looking for a place to hide from Sally. Sally is convinced that you're trying to replace her. That would put you in the position to drug them tonight during dinner, and also to let us in afterwards."

"What will you two be doing, while I'm doing all the work?" Wufei was not enjoying the plan.

"Trowa and I will be getting everything ready! Relax. We all have a large part to play."

Duo was slung over Heero's shoulder, while Wufei carried out Hilde. They met Trowa in the hallway with a sleeping Quatre. Grinning, they went downstairs and left the Maganacs a note with thier master's whereabouts.

They arrived at the campgrounds Justas the circus was setting up. They quickly made thier way to the manager's trailer and explained the situation. When he heard what had happened to the lions, and that the three conspirators where in thier custody, the man gleefully gave them the keys to the monkey cage.

That morning, Duo woke up to bright, hot sunlight on his face. Something itched his shoulder blades horribly, and for some reason...he had a tail. Looking down at himself, he found out that he was dressed in a monkey costume, and that it was padlocked underneath the faceless mask. A quick glance showed that Hilde and Quatre were in the same boat.

Hooting came from outside the cage, and when they looked towards the noise, bright flashes went off, catching them on film. Trowa stood nearby with his lions, talking to Cathy. Wufei and Sally stood leaning against the concession stand, smirking and making the hooting noise. And there, in the center of about six guards, stood a smug Heero with his arm around Relena. She was holding a press conference, dedicating a new wing to be built onto the park right there. It was to be a primate park.