Epilogue to The Box and Revenge
by Caliko

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam wing.

This fic is dedicated to the DragonWing 1/2 fanfiction writers support group. Ladies, you know who you are!!! :) Also, I want to thank Sabacat for helping me think of Duo and Hilde's ultimate revenge...

Wufei and Duo stood together against the wall with twin expressions of morbid fascination. Duo, because he just KNEW that Hilde was going to pop, and Wufei because he knew Sally wanted one too. It was like watching a collision. Neither could take their eyes off of the scene of female contentment, no matter how ugly it may get.

"You do realize that you've been manipulated, don't you?" Wufei asked the other pilot.

"Yeah, Wufei, I do. I just can't for the life of me figure out how!" Duo was yanking on his bangs in frustration. He really intended to stay home with Hilde until the baby came. Unfortunately,

Quatre spoke to Hilde while he was at work.

"Damn it, Maxwell! Look at her! She's going to drop that kid any day now! What kind of man are you? You should have put your foot down!" Chang was really warming up to his topic. "Women are incapable of making their own decisions, above all when their hormones are raging!"

"I don't know about that. Hilde is really smart, and she brought up some good points." Duo valiantly tried to defend his position.

'Oh? I suppose she said, 'It's only for three days!', Or, did she say, 'I'm not due for weeks yet, Duo!'." He made his voice psuedo-high, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

"Uh.. both." Duo was surprised, as it was almost word for word what Hilde had said to him.

"I'm not surprised. I caught Sally coaching her." The Chinese Pilot smirked, as he watched awareness flood the American's face. Duo wasn't really stupid, he was just a bit naive when it came to women. A part of him felt it was his duty to educated the idiot.

"HILDE!" He marched over to his lover, and picked her up. Not giving Hilde a chance to argue, he carried her to their room and put her to bed. "We need to talk! You manipulated me!"

"Duo, why would I do that? Have you been listening to Wufei again? Sheesh! When will you ever learn?" She tried to roll off of the mattress, but Duo wouldn't let her.

"Babe, you are going to lay here and get some sleep! Tomorrow, we go home!" He laid down the law, sure that she wouldn't argue with him on this. After all, wasn't he just looking out for her?

"Duo!" Hilde started to say something, but he cut her off. She vowed, at that moment, to limit anytime he might have with the Chinese chauvinist in the future.

"No, Babe! That's it! I will not risk you going into labor in the middle of a snowstorm, thirty minutes from the nearest hospital! Do you know what these mountains are like in snow?"

"Damn it, Maxwell! I am going NOWHERE! I am here, visiting MY girlfriends who just so happen to date YOUR friends! Now, if you want to go home, then fine! I'll see you Monday!"

"You would stay here, even if I left?" Disbelief rang in his voice. He couldn't believe that his quiet Hilde would be so stubborn!

"That's right, Duo. I would." Hilde smirked, knowing that he wouldn't wrestle a heavily pregnant woman into a car when the ground was icy.

"Damn you!" he shook his head, still not believing her. Adding insult to injury...she laughed at his dismay.

"Will you at least take a nap, Babe?" Resignation now ran through his tone. Softening, she lightly kissed his lips and nodded.

"I don't mind that. I am tired."

Duo shook his head as he turned off the light. She did it again. How would he explain this to Wufei?

Wufei must have been listening through the door. He watched the great Shinigami trod downstairs, and looked at the braided pilot in disgust.

"Coward!" he snorted as the remorseful pilot passed.

Shoulders stiffening, Duo was about to make a rude hand gesture when he noticed something.

"Hey, where's Quatre and the girls?"

"They went to the mall. Sally and Relena wanted to buy some things for the baby before you and Hilde left. Oh, and thanks, Maxwell!" Heero was more than a little mad. "Ever since she found out that Hilde was pregnant, all Relena can talk about is having babies! Couldn't you use birth control?"

"We would have if we had planned on having sex. Of course, you didn't think of THAT possibility when you locked us in that crate, did you, Heero?"

"Are you blaming me?" Heero got up into Duo's face.

"Yeah, I am. " Duo stated, then amended, "'Course, I want a whole houseful of tricycle motors, but it would have been nice to PLAN for them."

"Duo, you idiot! Have you ever thought that you and Hilde didn't HAVE to have sex? I only told you two to KISS!"

"HEY! Look! There's a blizzard out there!" Duo had been looking out the window as he and Heero spoke. Now, he ran to the window and pressed his nose against the glass.

"You know, that's just like you , Maxwell! Change the subject when you know that I'm right!"

"No, Yuy! Look! That's gonna be bad!"

Heero and Wufei walked over to the window, if only to calm down Duo's irrational mind.

Unfortunately...they had to agree with him.

"I hope that the women stay in town. We certainly don't want them driving in this! The roads must be a solid sheet of ice!" Wufei worried.

"They are!" Trowa came into the cabin, slapping the snow off of his jacket. "I almost didn't make it here!"

"Hey, did you pass Quatre and the girls anywhere?"

"No, Wufei. The roads where empty. It's a good thing, too. I almost went through the guardrail on that last turn."

The phone rang, breaking through their worry. Duo, who was the closest, answered.

"Hello? Oh, Hey Quatre! Yeah. We were worried about that. Ok.. I'll tell them." He wrote something down on the pad, then said, " See you in the morning. Bye!"

He hung up and turned away from the phone to meet the accusing eyes of the other three pilots.

"Quatre said that the roads are closed, and they had to stay in town. He gave me their phone numbers, though."

"Well, That's one worry off of our minds." Heero stated, breathing slightly easier.

"Yeah, but until then, we're stuck here." Duo fell back onto the couch and turned the TV on. Flipping through channels, he threw the controller across the room when he realized that the dish wasn't getting a signal.

"Stuck here, with no TV!" he complained.

"Shut up, Maxwell. Things could be a lot worse."

As if to add weight to his words, a crash sounded from upstairs. Wufei groaned, just knowing that his fears had been justified.

"DUO!" Her voice shouted down the stairs, fear prevalent in it's tone.

All four men looked at one another and took off running up the stairs. Duo, being the only one that WANTED to be there, made it first. Unfortunately, he ran onto the braided rug, slid over the waxed floor, and hit his head on the wooden banister at the corner of the bed.

With a weak sounding, "Hilde?" he was out for the count.

"Please don't tell me he passed out!" Hilde cried.

"Hnnnnn...... Ok. I won't say it." Trowa calmly told her.

Strangely, he seemed to be taking this in stride. Wondering, she asked him,

"Trowa, how many babies have you delivered?"

"I delivered ALL of my babies." He subtly preened, proud of his accomplishment.

"But...they're lions." Wufei gasped, horrified.

"What's the difference?"

Heero and Wufei gave each other troubled glances before trying to take to the stairs. Trowa was the only one to keep his head. He picked Duo up, threw him over his shoulder, and carried him to the next room where he dumped him onto the bed.

Next, he grabbed Heero by the back of the shirt, and told him to hold Hilde's hand until the Idiot woke up. Wufei, who was busy peeling the paint from the walls with his bad language, was banished downstairs to boil water. None of them knew what the water was for, but Trowa figured it would keep the chauvinist busy.

Finally, he went downstairs to get the phone number for Sally's hotel room. Unfortunately, the phone was dead. Praying for a miracle, he again mounted the stairs, cursing Duo's lack of foresight.

:::::Oh well. There really shouldn't be much different. You sit back and wait for the sucker to come out, pulling if it's in trouble!::: the clown thought, pensively...

"DUO MAXWELL! YOU HAD BETTER WAKE UP!" the screeching could be heard all throughout the house. Wufei could not seem to escape it. In desperation, he grabbed two dishtowels and knotted them around his ears, but He could still hear her crying.
It didn't help that they were right over the kitchen. Thankfully, the water started to boil. He threw in the knife and the thread and carefully took them out of the boiling water with the hot dog tongs. Once that was done, he placed the implements on a clean, disinfected cookie sheet and rushed them upstairs.

"Damn Woman! Couldn't she have stayed home? This is what you get for letting a pregnant woman out of the house! No common sense, no dignity! They should all be locked away until they're past childbearing age!"

He let his feelings on the matter be known as he handed the tray to the wincing Heero. Hilde was not being gentle, and for once, the perfect soldier could not handle the pain.

::::::::He must be out of practice..:::::: Wufei thought before he fled back down the stairs.

He picked up the phone, praying that it would work, but an eerie silence greeted his ear. Crying as badly as Hilde, he walked into the living room and buried his head under the pillows to wait.

:::::::::I am never getting Sally pregnant. I swear, I will get myself fixed, first.:::::: he thought, digging deeper under the pillows.

"OW!! OW!!! Get OFF OF ME, HILDE! Damn! I'm sorry...No! I won't leave! Promise!" Heero cried, tears flowing freely as Hilde crushed his hand in a grip that only laboring mama's could perform.

::::::Damn you, Duo! He better wake up soon!::::::

"Focus, Hilde! It's almost over!"

::::::::It's not even his kid! Why am I stuck holding her hand?::::::::::

Heero looked towards Trowa, silently asking the other pilot how much longer. Trowa merely shook his head, indicating that he didn't know.

His gaze caught the view in the mirror, and he almost passed out.

:::::Is that? Oh God! I'm going to be sick!:::: He managed to swallow the bile, closing his eyes against the dizziness. From next door, he heard Maxwell stirring....

"DUO! Get your ass in here!"

The dazed idiot came to the door, rubbing his aching head.

"What happened, Heero?" he asked, coming fully into the room.

Duo had his first full view of Hilde in labor, and almost ran.

"OH NO! C'mon! NO WAY! HILDE! Shove that kid back!"

"AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!" was her only answer.

"HEY! I can see it crowning!" Trowa exclaimed, a silly smile on his face.

"Oh god. No way....Please, Babe! Let's get you to a hospital! Then you can have the baby!"

"Maxwell! Shut up! In case you haven't noticed, your girlfriend broke my hand! Now, get over here and trade places with me!"

"EWWW!!! Uh uh! I am NOT getting anywhere near her until she stops giving birth! Damn! Trowa! stop encouraging her!"

"DUO! Shut up! You had your fun making this baby! You can share the pain giving birth to it! Now, stop being a wussie and get over here!" Hilde had had enough! Now in near constant pain, she wanted her boyfriend by her side. She wanted him close enough to hurt..

Duo shut his mouth and quickly moved to stand next to the bed. Hilde fisted one hand over his braid, and the other around his hand, then pulled down with both. Duo screamed, fell to his knees, and started to pray for it to be over quickly.

"AAAAAAGGGGGHH!!!" Hilde's voice turned hoarse from screaming as a triumphant shout came from the end of the bed...

"One more time, Hilde! You're almost done!"

The slippery baby slipped out of her body with one last final push. Jet black hair created a cap around her wizened face, and she looked as if she inherited her papa's lean frame.

"It's a girl!" Trowa smiled, almost as proud as the new parents. "What are you going to call her?" he asked, wiping the baby down and handing her to her mother.

His question went unheard, as Duo wrapped his arms around Hilde and cried.

"She's beautiful, Babe!"

Now that it was over, the pilot couldn't take his eyes off of either of them. He had been so worried about losing Hilde, but now he was thankful that it was over.

He gazed around the room, silently thanking each of the pilots who had kept thier head and did thier part. Smirking, he realized that there was a brand new stage to the prank war.

Once again, Heero had started it, too. Whistling, he waited for the other pilots to retreat from the room, before he whispered into Hilde's ear,

"Hey, Babe...Let's prank them into knocking Relena and Sally up!"