I do not own GW, and I make no money from these fics. GW belongs to Bandai, not me. Warnings??? Adult situations.. citrusy vitamin c alert sprinkled liberally throughout the entire "Whipped!" Section! Normal pairings, with an added bonus of Quatre and Cathy...

Whipped!
By Caliko

The next week found the pilots and families at Duo's house. The wives enjoyed themselves so much, that they decided to do it weekly. All the men were sitting on the porch, watching Esme pull Jack into the yard.

"So your little girl has a boyfriend. Big deal." Heero snorted, watching as the two teens walked away holding hands

Jack kept his eyes pinned on Duo, gulping as the 02 pilot glared after him..

"He is not her boyfriend!" The father insisted, standing up to follow, only to be warned back by Hilde's look.

"He's a boy, he's her friend and they date. Sounds like a boyfriend to me." Wufei smirked, enjoying Maxwell's discomfort.

"Look, Duo, calm down. Esme is a smart girl! She's not about to have sex or anything!"

"Yeah, but what about him? Give me one good reason why I should trust him!"

"He's afraid of you." Trowa said, flopping down next to them. "Anyone see Quatre?"

"Hmmm...." Duo smiled, "That's a good reason."

Wufei looked over at the acrobat, and told him that Cathy went to the store with Quatre for more marshmallows.

"Oh Is it my imagination, or are they getting close? I mean, I might be wrong, but it's like they are always together!"

"They're dating!" Wu snorted, watching the disbelief appear on the silent one's face.

"No They would have told me!"

"Yeah, sure!" Duo wrinkled his nose, laughing. "Wasn't it you who shot her last boyfriend in the foot?"

"I was cleaning my pistol." Trowa quietly stated, looking away in embarrassment.

"Uh huh... you just so happen to be pointing it at the guy with the safety off, the chamber loaded, and your finger squeezing."

"He was a toad, and you can't talk, Mr. Papa Shinigami!" The clown tried to stare the braidless pilot down, to no effect.

"And Quatre is your best friend. Be happy if he loves your sister."

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Meanwhile:

"Quatre, we have to tell him." Cathy said, getting into the pale yellow Corvette. She threw the bag of marshmallows and potato chips into the back hatch then pulled the seatbelt over her waist. Quatre leaned over and fastened it for her, then gave her a sweet kiss before buckling his own.

"I know," He said, "but he's your brother. He's going to overreact like all brothers do. You know, I don't even think that he knows we're dating! How are we supposed to tell him?" The young Arab turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space.

"I don't know... how about, 'Trowa, I love your sister, and you're going to be an uncle?'"

"Did Sven ever stop limping?"

"Yes! Now, stop thinking about him! Trowa didn't like Sven, but YOU'RE his best friend! He'll be happy for us!"

"How can you be so optimistic? Everyone has their little homicidal streaks.. And protecting you is Trowa's."

"Quatre, relax and watch the road before you kill us. Look, if it makes it easier, we can announce our engagement today, then wait a couple of weeks before we tell him that I'm pregnant."

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Back at the Maxwell's...

Heero's gaze went from Duo, to Hilde, laughing as the petite woman swayed her hips, winked, then beckoned her husband over to help. Duo bounced up, his eyes lasciviously gleaming as he followed his wife back into the house.

"Hmmph! We all know what's on HIS mind." Wufei snorted, digging his elbow into Heero's side.

"Yeah, he's whipped." 01 agreed, smirking when Duo turned around to glare at them.

"Who you calling whipped, you paranoid, pencil pushing geek?"

"You. All she has to do is smile and wink, and you run." Heero snorted, waving his hand in the direction of the house.

"Yeah, Maxwell. Have you no pride?" Wufei added, smirking at his victim.

"Screw you, Chang. I have plenty of pride!" Duo defended himself, but ruined his argument when he turned back to go help Hilde.

"You know, Wu..." Heero said, thoughtfully rubbing his chin, "Picking on Duo is more fun than picking on you..."

Wufei glared at the other man, than grinned. "Why do you think I'm still doing it after so many years?"

Duo came back about ten minutes later, carrying a bag of chips and sporting a smile and a little smudge of lipstick on his ear lobe. Heero's eyebrows went up, and he got up for another soda, shaking his head.

"Is that all the two of you do?" He asked, resting his hand against his blue-jeaned clad hip.

"What?" Duo flopped down and opened the bag. His face was a study of confusion as he looked at one pilot, then the other.

"You know! I'm surprised that you only have two kids!"

"Wu, what the hell is he talking about?"

"He wants to know if you and Hilde have any other hobbies... or do you just screw around like rabbits in heat all day."

"Hmmph! Yeah, well at least my wife doesn't have to put on mittens when she wants to cuddle!" He shot back at Heero, "And at least I love my wife enough to do what she asks without taking over the whole project!"

Wufei turned red at being reminded of the rose garden he put in for Sally. She had the whole thing plotted out, and all he had to do was dig a few holes. Was it his fault that the Woman's blueprint was ugly? All he did was make it better!

"I only made it nicer!" He insisted now.

"Yeah, but now it's your hobby, not hers! Face it, Wu! I'm the better husband! Heero is a cold stick, and you are a control freak!"

"Well, you're a horny toad! I'd be surprised if the bed hasn't given Hilde calluses on her ass!"

"Are you saying that I can't control myself, Yuy?"

"Yes."

Duo threw the bag of chips behind him, and got to his feet. Slowly, he stalked his best friend, his eyes glowing with cold rage.

"Say that again, Heero!"

"Gladly. You act like an oversexed teenager, and Hilde uses that to train you." 01 smirked, noticing Duo's clenched hands. "You're going to hit me now? C'mon. I'll give you the first punch."

Duo leaned back, and threw his weight forward, aiming for Heero's jaw. Yuy leaned away from the punch, and came back with his fist in the other man's belly.

At that point, Trowa came up shaking his head. "I can't believe you fell for that again, Maxwell. He only does that every time you two fight."

"Oh, shut up!" He ranted, picking himself back up from where he lay on the ground. "Don't ya'll have homes of your own?"

"Our wives won't let us leave." Wu put in, wrinkling his nose.

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Cathy looked at the apple pie in the middle of the table with revulsion. She loved the taste with a passion, but lately the very thought of it made her sick. She swallowed the bile in the back of her throat, and eased the slice of pie under the table for the dog to eat.

Quatre looked over at her, worried, earning a weak smile as she shook her head. Unbeknownst to them, however, an observant green eye followed the entire exchange, narrowed in angry speculation.

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After dessert, Wufei, Heero, and Duo settled in to complete their bickering while their wives once again took over the kitchen. The women had practically ran inside after they ate the pie, and if their husbands knew exactly what they were doing...they would have insisted on a piece of the action.

"C'mon, Relena! You're bluffing!" Hilde challenged, upping the ante.

The blond minister of peace simply smiled, matching the short pixie. "Try me." She said, her eyes cold and expressionless. (one of the more useful expressions she learned from her husband.)

"Alright! Four aces! Ha!" Hilde chortled, then went silent as Relena placed down the same exact hand. "Who dealt that last hand?"

Both girls turned sharply at Sally, who held up her hands innocently. "Don't look at me! They're YOUR cards, Hilde."

Hilde scowled and picked up the box. Then, her face relaxed as she started to laugh. "Oh.. wrong box. This is the pack Esme used for her magic trick at school. Over there, Sal. That's the real deck."

The women groaned, then threw their cards back in as Sally shuffled the other deck.

"So, Cathy, have you and Quatre told Trowa yet?"

"No, but we can't wait too much longer... my birth control failed."

"You mean?..."

"Yup. I'm going to be giving birth to the newest Winner in about seven months time." Cathy smiled, happy.

"We have to... what was that?" Sally stopped shuffling, then looked out the window. "Oh boy. Here we go again." She groaned.

"What?" The three other women jumped up, and leaned over Sally's shoulder to get a look.

"Stop saying that, Wu! I am NOT whipped!" Duo growled, eye to eye with the chinese warrior.

"Yes, you are! All the little woman needs to do is wink and wiggle her butt, and you're on her like a goat! You, Maxwell, have been domesticated."

"Take it back!"

"No! I'll prove it to you! I bet that you can't go two weeks without sex! same prize as before... Loser watches ALL of the kids while the rest of us goes on vacation!"

"FINE! And to spice it up... You have to give up being a control freak. For those same two weeks, you have to do everything Sally says!"

There was a loud gasp from the kitchen, as one wife looked horrified, and the other started to grin evilly.

"Alright! What about him?" Wufei pointed to Heero, who was quickly backing off.

"Leave me out of it!"

"Too late! He's got to be more like me! He's gotta be spontaneous, and romantic! Surprise his wife with some afternoon delight.. at least 4 times a day for the two weeks! He misses one time, and he baby-sits!" Duo gloated, smirking. He knew from some private conversations that Relena wasn't having any lately.

Heero grinned, thankful that Duo didn't know that he reached an understanding with his wife.

"You're on." He said, reaching his hand out to shake on it.

"Wait, guys.. how are you going to prove this?"

"Lying is dishonorable!" (guess who said that one.)

"I suppose that we can set up video recorders in all the rooms of our houses.. "

"I'm not being taped!"

/sigh/ ok.. how about a bug? Just a harmless little listening device... We won't listen in all the time, but you never know WHEN we are. That should keep us honest!"

"Alright. At least our faces won't be on camera." Heero agreed, once again sticking his hand out. Soon, they were all ironing out the details.

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"Those RATS!" Hilde hissed, her hands clenched in front of her.

"Yes... making a bet like that!" Cathy commiserated with the black haired pixie.

"Hmmm... now.. this is going to be interesting." Relena had a strange, dreamy look on her face.

"He has to do whatever I tell him to do..." Sally was busy, mentally making plans of torture.

"I don't care if I have to baby-sit all the kids! I am NOT going to make this easy on him!" Hilde fumed some more.

"I say that none of you make it easy on them. Think about it.. the bet is that THEY have to baby-sit.. there's no reason why you girls have to stay. And, they should know better than to make a bet like this without discussing it first." Cathy was really outraged, and thankful that Quatre would never do something like that to her. "Here." She took her winnings from her pile, "The first woman to break her husband get's this."

The other three women glanced at the pile of money, then smiled as they added their share to it. Looking around the table at each other, they smiled, then broke into hysterical laughter.

"GIRL POWER!" They shrieked, throwing their cards in the air.

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