Not mine.. belongs to Bandai and sunrise. Don't sue, cause I'm poor, and broke and you would only end up with my dogs, cats, ducks, parakeet and cockatiel.

Whipped - Part five
by Caliko

Heero flopped back across the white satin comforter as he waited for Relena and Hilde to shut up. They weren't even saying anything interesting, just gabbing about everyday b.s.! He never could understand how some people could talk so much about absolutely nothing.

Suddenly, there was silence. After a moment, he got up. His hand was around the knob, and he was about to open the door, when he heard it. A whiz, a click, and the women's voices talking again.

He scrunched his face up as he realized that something wasn't right. The voices were too tinny.. not.. alive. and what was that clicking sound, anyway?

Opening the door, he poked his head out, and saw that the living room was empty. He opened his dresser drawers, and cursed as he hit wood. Not a stitch.. not even underwear.

:::She planned this.::: He didn't know how she knew.. but she did. And, for some reason, she was working against him. :::Relena is NOT going to win this one.:::

Heero ripped the sheet from the bed, and wrapped it around his body like a toga. Then, he stormed into the living room, looking for his clothes.

As expected.. his clothes were gone. Groaning, he looked at the front door, his feet involuntarily inching forward. He really didn't want to go out like this...

He pulled open the door, and slammed it shut again. Noin stood out in the hall, gaping when she realized he was wearing a pink sheet.

Gathering up his train, he pulled it through his legs and tied it around his waist. Then, wearing his makeshift sun suit, he opened the window, and climbed back onto the ledge.

:::Relena, when I get my hands on you, you're going to be doing more than walk funny!:::

He walked the ledge, looking for the conspicuous pink limo. Knowing Relena, she would head straight to her partner in crime. Hilde would protect her, after all!

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"Babe?" He asked, his voice shaky, "Do you think that counts as having sex?"

Hilde turned around in the tub, giggling. Trying to look innocent, she blinked. "Now, why would you worry about that?"

Catching himself, he slammed his lips shut and looked away, humming. Hilde was about to push, when she heard the crash from downstairs. Mumbling under her breath, she just KNEW it was the Yuy twins. She pulled her jean shorts back on, tied her shirt closed under her breasts, and left to terrorize the guests. "Stay there, Duo! I'll be right back!" She called out, thumbing down the stairs.

Duo took the chance to get dressed, barely taking the time to dry off. Then, he climbed out the window, and shimmied down the drainpipe to parking lot below. Pagan had just pulled up to collect the Yuy's, so Duo waited for the old man to get out of the car and knock on the door. Then, throwing him an apologetic wave, he climbed into the drivers seat and drove away.

:::Need to buy time!::: He thought, slinking in his seat as Hilde started to chase after him on foot. :::God.. how am I going to explain this one?:::

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Relena pulled up to the Maxwell house just as Duo made it to the end of the street. Hilde hurriedly got into the passenger seat, and called out, "Pagan! Watch the kids! We'll be RIGHT BACK!" Then, laughing, she pointed to the departing car, "FOLLOW THAT LIMO!"

Relena snorted, and stepped on the gas. "He got away, huh?"

"Not for long!"

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Heero stared down at the street below, rubbing his eyes. This could not be for real! Where was a camera when you needed one? There, below him, about to disappear into a shoe store, stood Wufei in a crimson satin ball gown.

He bit his tounge, trying hard not to laugh too loud. The last thing he needed right now was comments on personal fashion! A rapid clicking sounded behind him, and he jumped. Zechs stood on the next roof, taking pictures of Wu below.

:::YES! There IS a god!::: And then, he groaned, as Zechs spotted him.

Zechs gave an evil smile, then took a few more pictures.. of Heero in the sheet.

"Give me that film!" He yelled, drawing stares from the street. He jumped over the gap in the roof, and then ran to tackle Zechs.

Zechs threw the camera down, yelling, "Sally! CATCH!" then braced himself to meet Heero's onslaught.

Heero took a flying leap, trying to catch the camera before Sally could. Missing it, he felt himself fall towards the ledge, and groaned. This was going to hurt!

His hand brushed against Marquis' jacket, and he instinctively tightened his hand over it. Unfortunately, instead of stopping his fall, he brought Zechs over the edge with him. They managed to land on a canvas overhang, then rolled, punching at each other, to the edge. Heero grabbed the outline of the aluminum pole, while their combined weight caused it to bend inward, breaking free of the building in the process.

The two men slowly fell to the ground, the overhang stealing their momentum as it fell onto the customers eating outside in the cafe.

Getting up first, Heero was just in time. Seeing that Wu had caught the camera, and was about to hand it to Sally, he yelled.

"WU! Don't! It has pictures of you dressed like that!"

Chang stopped, his hand tightening on the black plastic as Zechs groaned and rose to his knees. "He's lying!" he snapped, trying to get it back.

"Why would I lie? And, what was Zechs doing up there if I am?"

Wufei turned the camera over, and hit the album button. Soon, a number of pictures came up on the screen. Some of them were of Wufei wearing the dress in Monique's, some were of him standing where he was now.. and about four were of Heero wearing the pink sheet.

Satisfied over who the real culprits were, he erased the memory, sighing. The woman DID know about the bet, otherwise, she couldn't have planned this.

A car horn honked, drawing their attention. Duo pulled up in the limo, slammed the car into park, got out, threw the keys to Heero, than ran to hide behind Wufei. His reason for hiding became apparent as Relena pulled up with Hilde.

Not noticing right away that her husband was there, Relena followed the shorter girl over to the group, smirking as the brunette grabbed her hubby by the ear and pulled. Duo wrapped his arms around Wu, loudly begging the chinese man to save him.

Heero tiptoed up behind Relena, than spun her around to face him. Her smile froze on her face, then got wider as she took in his state of dress. Choking, she started to laugh hard, then gasped. "C'mon, Heero. After this, you deserve a lil bit of tlc..."

Hilde had finally cornered Duo, with the help of Sally prying his fingers away from Wu. She dragged him back towards the other limo, with him digging his toes into the cracks of the sidewalk.

Sally then turned to her husband, and proceeded to pull him into the shoe store. "I still need the shoes, Wu." She said.

That was it. Wufei's face became as red as his dress. First, he had to go shopping. THEN, he had to wear the Woman's dress. THEN, he had to go out like this for shoes, getting caught by all of the pilots and the gods alone knew how many strangers.. Then, he had to deal with Maxwell using him for an anchor, and the woman yanking on his waist., and now she thought he was going for shoes?

He didn't care if he ended up watching the kids. it was not worth the loss of his pride.

"NO." He said it loudly, drawing everyone's attention. Relena and Heero stopped next to the pink limo, not moving to go inside as their eyes shot to Wufei. Duo stopped fighting Hilde, and Hilde stopped dragging him. Zechs leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, and Sally started to grin wide.

"What was that, Wu?" She asked, intent on getting the money.

"I will NOT go with you to buy shoes!" He bent down and pulled the dress over his head. "I WILL NOT wear this thing another moment!" He pulled his shirt down, and tucked it into the tight Preventers uniform pants. "I WILL NOT go to the store for tampons, for douche, for ANYTHING! I will NOT DO IT!"

He screamed loudly, jumping up and down. His shirt came back out of the pants, his hair fell out of the queue, and his face was scrunched up like a child throwing a temper tantrum. "I LOST THE BET! OK? I'll watch the lousy brats while you all go on vacation and have fun. BUT I WILL NOT WEAR A DAMN DRESS AGAIN!"

He grew silent, then gathered his dignity around him like a shield. Then, slowly, he walked to the truck and got into the drivers seat. Turning the ignition, he drove off, knowing that Zechs would give Sally a ride back to headquarters.

Duo hopped up. Glancing at the disappearing vehicle, he started to grin as he advanced on his wife. Hilde shrieked and started to run down the street, only to have Duo scoop her up from behind and throw her over his shoulder, singing, "Sexual Healing" as he threw her into the back seat.

Minutes later, the black tinted windows where rolled up, the doors locked, and the car was rocking where it was parked.

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Cathy looked over the dinner table at Quatre, silently wondering if they would ever get rid of Trowa. They went along with the wedding, knowing that they could always renew their vows publicly, but there was no way they were taking him on their honeymoon.

Quatre smiled, then shook his head. Looking purposefully at Trowa, he took the bowl of chocolate pudding into his hands and pushed a huge heaping spoonful on the other man's plate.

"More pudding, Trowa?" He asked, knowing the other's weakness.

"Oh wow.. yeah, thanks, brother!" Trowa chortled. "Ya know.. that sounds nice. Brother." He grinned, shoveling the treat into his mouth. "I always wanted a broth..."

The clown blinked, losing his train of thought. "I feel weird."

"Oh? How, brother, dear?" Quatre asked, trying not to giggle.

"I dunno.. tired."

"Well, why don't you sleep, Trowa?" Cathy quickly caught on. "Take my bed.. Quatre and I will go to his house tonight."

"NO!" He forced his eyes open. "I still don't know if he'll be good enough for you! I'm not leaving your side until I know." He insisted, fighting a losing battle with the sleep drops.

"That's ok, Trowa." Quatre soothed, "Why don't you just take a nap on the couch? We won't go anywhere."

"Promise?"

"Of course!" The Arab helped Trowa to his feet, then slowly eased him down on the couch. Soon, the clown was fast asleep. Quatre quickly tied him down to the couch, then turned back to his wife.

"Let's go." He said, pulling her out the door. "We'll have to buy you new clothes, 'cause I don't know how long that sleeping draught lasts."

"I feel bad, leaving him like this!" She winced, getting into her mustang. "And what's to keep him from following us once he get's free?"

"I hired a babysitter while we were at that rest stop. Don't worry, Sweetheart. Your brother will not be following us."

They roared away down the dirt rode, gathering speed as they approached the highway.

Two hours later:

The blond looked at the trailer in front of her, head cocked. It was the right place, according to the directions, but she wasn't expecting a circus. She looked around, noticing that all the other trailers were on the other side of the grounds, and none were white with red trim. This was the place, alright.

Wondering who it was she was expected to keep out of trouble, she bent and took the key from under the mat. Then, unlocking the door, she pushed it open, and stood, shocked. It couldn't be......

"Nanashi?" She asked, wide eyed as the man slipped out of the ropes.

Trowa fell to the ground, startled. Instinctively, he muttered, "Don't call me that!" Then fell back against the bed. Quatre.. his best friend, had managed to unearth the one part of his past that he never shared. "How are you doing, Midii?"

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THE END!!! hahahahahahha!!! and no, there will be no Trowa and Midii sequel. I would LOVE to.. but I just don't know enough of her character. <G> Next stop in this series is the final section... Esme's On The Town. It takes place when Esme is sixteen years old, and proving to the world that she takes after her wild old man. :)